Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 209 of 215

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Sheldon: Excuse me. You're misusing the word 'ho'. It's an interjection used to call attention to a destination, not an object, as in 'land ho' or 'westward ho'.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Howard: Are you familiar with the Drake Equation?
Sheldon: The one that estimates the odds of making contact with extraterrestrials by calculating the product of an increasingly restrictive series of fractional values such as those stars with planets, and those planets likely to develop life? N equals R times FP times NE times FL times FI times FC times L?
[pause]
Howard: Yeah, that one.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: There was a tall man from Cornwall
Whose length exceeded his bed.
"My body fits on it.
But barely upon it.
There's no room for my big Cornish head!"

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: I am uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny.
Leonard: What was I supposed to say?
Sheldon: You could have told her the truth.
Leonard: I could not have said that, it would have hurt her feelings.
Sheldon: Is that a relevant factor?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Then I suppose you could have agreed to go.
Leonard: What would I have said afterwards?
Sheldon: I would suggest something along the lines of "singing is neither an appropriate vocation nor avocation for you and if you disagree, I recommend you do a CAT scan to locate the tumor which is pressing on the cognitive processing center of your brain".

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: Like the subordinate male protagonist in countless action movies who disappears halfway through the second reel, I have returned to save the day. [pause]. Odd, he's usually met by cheers.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: Yes, since their relationship became carnal, Penny has updated his designated term of endearment, distinguishing him from those she calls 'sweetie,' usually as an attempt to soften a thinly-veiled insult.
Penny: You're boring people, sweetie.
Sheldon: Although sometimes, she omits the veil entirely.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: Excuse me. Wolverine Origin, mini series issue two, page 22, retractable bone claws. You know, if you three spent less time thinking about sex and more time concentrating on comic books, we would have much less of these embarrassing moments.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Penny: I give up. He's impossible.
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist. I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: Okay, I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: Really?
Leonard: Yes, you're using chocolates as positive reinforcement for what you consider correct behavior.
Sheldon: Very good. Chocolate?
Leonard: No, I don't want any chocolate! Sheldon, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat.
Sheldon: Actually, it turns out I can.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Penny: What's this cartoon called again?
Leonard: Oshikuru: Demon Samurai.
Sheldon: And it's not a cartoon, it's anime.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: Yeah, I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.

Showing quotes 3,121 to 3,135 of 3,217Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes