Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 209 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Sheldon: For the record, I do have genitals. They're functional and aesthetically pleasing.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Toby: Damn you, Chaplain Horrigan.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Toby: The Phillipines: 1992: The Subic Bay Naval Station: A young boy on the cusp of manhood. His only companions, mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. Desperate and alone, he reached out to a man who promised to introduce him to a merciful, loving God. But instead introduced him to a gin-pickled tongue shoved down his adolescent throat. What choice did he have but to drink, shoot, and snort his pain away?
Sheldon: Don't forget genetic predisposition towards addiction.
Toby: That's never been proven.
Sheldon: There have been studies.
Toby: Not double-blind studies!
Sheldon: How could there be double-blind study? Who would be the control group?

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Penny: You'll never guess what just happened!
Leonard: Oh, I give up!
Sheldon: I don't guess! As a scientist, I reach conclusions based on observations and experimentation. Although it occurs to me, you may have been employing a rhetorical device rendering my response moot.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Penny sing "Out Tonight"!
Leonard: What the hell is that?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if cats could sing ... they'd hate it too.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Okay, I'm going ask you one more time. We did the work together, let's present the paper together.
Sheldon: And I'm telling you for the last time, it's pandering, it's undignified, and bite me.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: (Sarcastic) When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, and I can't wait to play you again. Goodnight!

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: If she were to log on to www.socalphysicsgroup.org/activities/other, click on upcoming events, scroll down to seminars, download the PDF schedule, and look for the seminar on molecular positroneum, well then, bippity boppity boo, our pants are metaphorically on fire.
*Leonard shuts the door.*
Sheldon: Well, sir, my trousers will not be igniting today.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: Sheldon, you are not sick. This is, but you are not.
Sheldon: We have no idea what pathogens Typhoid Penny has introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska, I'm certain I have no corn-husking antibodies.
Leonard: Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting?
Sheldon: When I'm lying comatose in a hospital relying on inferior minds to cure me, these gelatin cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance.
*Sheldon holds a Q-tip toward his mouth for Leonard to swab*

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Chen: Hi, fellas. Oh, where's your annoying little friend who thinks he speaks Mandarin?
Sheldon: He's putting his needs ahead of the collective good. Where he comes from, that's punishable by death.
Chen: I come from Sacramento.

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Christy: Mmm! There's my little engine that could.
*Howard makes train noise*
Sheldon: There's one beloved children's book I'll never read again.

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Sheldon: Whoever's her partner will be hamstrung by her lack of experience, not to mention-
Penny: Ha-ha! There goes your head again.
Sheldon: Okay, it's not good sportsmanship to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned. You need to give them a chance to-
Now, come on!

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Sheldon: The wheel was a great idea. Relativity was a great idea. This is a notion, and a rather sucky one.

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Penny: Ugh, I cannot believe Christy let Howard into my apartment.
Sheldon: And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes. But on a more serious note, it's 8:13 and we're still not playing "Halo".

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Penny: Cool! Whose head did I just blow off?
Sheldon: Mine!

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