Leonard: Well, there's nothing you can do about it, so relax, sit back, enjoy the clickety-clack of the steel wheels on the polished rails.
Sheldon: You forgot your flash drive, You forgot your flash drive...
Leonard: Only ten hours, 55 minutes to go.

Leonard: But look, Penny's home. Why don't we just call her, have her go in the apartment, get your flash drive and e-mail you the paper?
Sheldon: But the flash drive is in a locked drawer in my desk.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: The key is hidden in my room.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: Penny would have to go into my room.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: People don't go in my room!

Sheldon: Okay, step four. Do you see that small plastic case on my dresser?
Penny: Your dresser? Who is this?
Sheldon: It's Sheldon.
Penny: Oh, hey, Sheldon! How is San Francisco?
Sheldon: I'm not in San Francisco. I'm on a train. Were you even listening to me?
Penny: Uh, no, I was talking to my friend, but what's up?
Sheldon: What's up? I'll tell you whats up. I'm in a crisis situation, and I need you to marshal your powers of concentration, limited as they may be-

Sheldon: All right, now, before you enter my bedroom unescorted, I need you to understand that this onetime grant of access does not create a permanent easement. ... Easement. It's a legal right of access. ... Good grief. What? No, don't put me on hold. Aw.

Sheldon: Yes, I'm still here. Where am I going? I'm on a train. Now, what you'll be looking for is a small wooden box located between a Hoberman's sphere and a sample of quartz flecked with pyrite. Hoberman's Sphere. It's a collapsible icosidodecahedron. No, the thing with the time on it is my alarm clock.

Sheldon: So, I'm thinking, you won the Nobel Prize what, three years ago? So you must deal with a whole lot of what has Smoot done lately? My thought is we continue my research as a team, you know, Cooper-Smoot, alphabetical, and when we win the Nobel Prize, you'll be back on top.
George Smoot: With all due respect, Dr. Cooper, are you on crack?
Sheldon: Fine! Smoot-Cooper. Wow, what a diva.

Raj: What about me?
Sheldon: Well, I understand there are several types of artificial women. Maybe you should look into that.

Raj: Well, then why don't we just go to the Galleria and walk around?
Sheldon: I don't need anything at the Galleria. Do you need anything at the Galleria?
Raj: No. We would just walk around and see what's what.
Sheldon: That's a semantically null sentence.

Raj: Okay, well, how about this? From the university Web site, 7pm to 10pm, Norton Hall Multipurpose Room, mixer for grad students and faculty of the science and humanities departments. Whether you split atoms or infinitives, this is the place to be.
Sheldon: Well, that's certainly amusing, but I have no interest.

Raj: Please, Sheldon, I'm a young, virile visitor from a foreign land and I need to strut my stuff.
Sheldon: Let me offer you a compromise. Sometimes when I feel stifled and want a change of scenery, I use my imagination.
Raj: Oh, boy.
Sheldon: One of my favorite places to visit is the two-dimensional world described in Edwin Abbott's mathematical fantasy, Flatland.
Raj: I don't want to go to Flatland.
Sheldon: You're only saying that because you haven't been there. I am now a hexagon in two-dimensional space and can only perceive the edges of other objects.
Raj: Oy.
Sheldon: Is that you, Raj? I don't recognize your edge.

Raj: Thanks for coming with me.
Sheldon: Thanks for giving me your limited edition Green Lantern lantern.
Raj: Did you really have to bring it in with you?
Sheldon: What if evil strikes and my power ring runs low?

Sheldon: The dog - koira. The roof - katto. Grapes - viinirypleet. One minute. Sisn!
Raj: What was that?
Sheldon: It means come in. It's taking forever to load the new operating system on my computer. I disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, and now I thought I'd learn Finnish.

Raj: Uh, listen, I got a text from that girl Abby, and she and her friend Martha want to hang out with us again. What do you say?
Sheldon: I don't say anything. I merely offer you a facial expression that suggests you've gone insane.
Raj: I don't get it. You had a great time.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly, I had a great time. That's done. I've moved on to other things. For example, after I learn Finnish, I'm not going to learn Finnish again.

Raj: Please, Sheldon, I'm a lost Indian boy far from home, and I want a girlfriend and I want her to be Abby, and she'll only come over if she can bring Martha.
Sheldon: Raj, I highly doubt there is any argument you can make, threat you might levy, rhetorical strategy, plea, invocation, supplication, or "vetoomus" that you can employ that would convince me to reconsider.
Raj: My Incredible Hulk hands signed by Stan Lee.
Sheldon: Oh, my. I've admired these for years.
Raj: So does that mean we can go with the girls again?
Sheldon: Hulk agree to second date with puny humans!

Sheldon: Oh, dear. Penny, have you been recording shows on our DVR again?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Answer honestly. This is not a trial. That'll come later.