Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 222 of 262
Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition
Leonard: Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.
Sheldon: Well of course he is. She's very interesting. Did you know, when she was 14 she severed the webbing between her own toes?
Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition
Leonard: Hey, can I talk to you about something? It's a little awkward.
Sheldon: I know what this is about. Given the professional standstill you're at, you're wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching.
Yes! And if I may suggest, consider changing discipline. To the humanities or perhaps history. One of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things, you know, you just have to remember stuffs that happened and then parrot it back. You could have fun with that.
Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition
Amy: Goodnight, Stuart.
Stuart: Goodnight.
*Stuart and Amy hug*
Sheldon: (From inside Amy's apartment) Take the hint, Stuart, the lady said goodnight!
Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition
Sheldon: I'm the guy.
Penny: You're not the guy.
Sheldon: Are you sure? It would explain so much. Your constant presence in my apartment. That baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me. The way you call me sweetie all the time.
Penny: I call everyone sweetie.
Sheldon: You tramp.
Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition
Sheldon: I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
Amy: I'm listening.
Sheldon: With the understanding that nothing changes what so ever - physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend.
Amy: Interesting, now try it without the quadruple negative.
Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition
Penny: Strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
Sheldon: Strap on a pair of what? ...Skates?
Penny: Oh, you are so not the guy.
Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection
Sheldon: (To the smoking monkey) You really are an ass.
Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst
Sheldon: Well, I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I think I'll turn in. I didn't wanna teach those poopy heads anyway.
Howard: FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.
Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination
Howard: No, we can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard: What makes you think I can convince her?
Howard: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.
Leonard: Okay, let me see if I understand this. You want me to convince my ex-girlfriend to go to a costume party with her new boyfriend just so we can win a stupid prize?
Sheldon: Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.
Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination
Leonard: Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj: But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard: You can be Aquaman.
Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
Zack: Hey, babe.
Penny: I'm still mad at you.
Zack: Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
Penny: What great news?
Zack: We're going to a costume party at the comic book store on New Year's Eve, and you get to be Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth. Invisible plane sold separately.
Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion
Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.
Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion
Sheldon: Trust me, if I had a death ray I wouldn't be living here. I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.
Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion
Leonard: Too casual?
Sheldon: For an audience with the queen, yes. For an evening of passing a bottle of fortified wine around a flaming trash can, you look great.
Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
Sheldon: I just want you both to know, when I publish my findings, I won't forget your contributions.
Howard: Great.
Sheldon: Of course, I can't mention you in my Nobel acceptance speech. But, when I get around to writing my memoirs, you can expect a very effusive footnote and perhaps a signed copy.
Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
Sheldon: You fellas are planning a party for me, aren't you?
Howard: Okay, Sheldon, sit down.
Sheldon: If there's going to be a theme, I should let you know that I don't care for luau, toga, or under the sea.
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