Sheldon: We have a bowl. Our keys are in the bowl. You should get a bowl.
Penny: I just don't understand; how can beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper forget his keys in the first place?
Sheldon: I left them in the bowl.

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon, are you coming?
Sheldon: I'd rather have a blowfly lay eggs and hatch larvae in my auditory canal.

Sheldon: You're the milk thief! Leonard said I was crazy but I knew that carton felt lighter.

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I do not resemble C-3PO. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. I just don't see it.

Penny: Mmm, what smells so good?
Sheldon: That is the intoxicating aroma of Kadhai Paneer. A perfect culinary representation of the freedom this evening holds. Not only is it Indian cuisine, which Koothrappali loathes, it contains a generous helping of peanuts, which would reduce Wolowitz to a wheezing 97-pound blister. And finally, its main ingredient is paneer, a farmer's cheese that would cause Leonard to render any room uninhabitable within minutes.

Leonard: Look, imagine you maintained a friendship with someone you had sex with, but you were free to date whoever you wanted.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I can't imagine any of that.

Leonard: Alright, back to the game.
Sheldon: I believe it's my turn, you may begin your questions whenever you're ready.
Raj: Are you Spock?
Sheldon: I don't like this game.

Penny: Hang on, I think the emergency key is around here somewhere.
Sheldon: We have a bowl. Our keys go in a bowl. You should get a bowl.
Penny: So, how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper forget his key in the first place.
Sheldon: I left them in the bowl.

Penny: Alright, Sheldon, let's just calm down and we'll call the building manager, he'll come open your door, you just eat your dinner here while you're waiting.
Sheldon: Eat? My dinner? In your apartment?
Penny: Yeah, why not?
Sheldon: Sure, why not? And after the sun's down we can all pile in my pick-up and go skinny-dipping down at the creek. 'cause today's the day to stop making sense.

Sheldon: So, how was your day?
Penny: Are you trying to make small talk? Oh, sweetie, you really don't have to.
Sheldon: No, it's the accepted convention. How was your day?
Penny: Well, uh, they shifted my schedule around at the restaurant so my hours are going to be a little different...
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that's not going to interest me at all, just eat.

Sheldon: I was Spock. Are you and Leonard friends with benefits?
Penny: What?
Sheldon: Are you and Leonard friends with benefits?
Penny: Where did that even come from, did he say we were?
Sheldon: No, Leonard said nothing, but who knows what goes on over here when he pretends your mail was mis-delivered.
Penny: No, just mail, no benefits.

Penny: Oh, alright. I will give you my bed on one condition. That you promise to zip your hole for the next eight hours.
Sheldon: May I say one last thing.
Penny: Only if it doesn't rhyme.
Sheldon: Alright. Goodnight.

Sheldon: Sing Soft Kitty.
Penny: That's only for when you're sick.
Sheldon: Homesick is a type of being sick.
Penny: Come on. Do I really have to?
Sheldon: I suppose we can stay up and talk.
Penny: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, um…
Sheldon: Sleepy kitty.
Penny: Sleepy ki…
Sheldon: No. Start over.
Penny: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.

Howard: Are you familiar with the Drake Equation?
Sheldon: The one that estimates the odds of making contact with extraterrestrials by calculating the product of an increasingly restrictive series of fractional values such as those stars with planets, and those planets likely to develop life? N equals R times FP times NE times FL times FI times FC times L?
[pause]
Howard: Yeah, that one.

Sheldon: Amazing Spiderman, Ultimate Spiderman, Spectacular Spiderman, the Marvelous Adventures of Spiderman, Spiderman 2099?
Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: You know this can go on all night. Why don't you just come with us?
Penny: Ugh, that's what I was trying to avoid.
Sheldon: Oh, I forgot, Sensational Spiderman.