Sheldon: Like the proverbial cheese, I stand alone. Even while seated.

Sheldon: No one calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw.

Sheldon: Where's your notebook?
Penny: Um, I don't have one.
Sheldon: How are you gonna take notes without a notebook?
Penny: I have to take notes?
Sheldon: How else are you gonna study for the tests?
Penny: There's gonna be a test?
Sheldon: Tests.

Sheldon: (Dictating) Research Journal, Entry One. I'm about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career: teaching Penny physics.! I'm calling it "Project Gorilla".

Raj: Here comes Kripke.
Leonard: Who's that with him?
Raj: I believe that's the president of the university.
Leonard: And the board of directors. Abort! Abort!
Sheldon: There is no abort.
Raj: How could you not put in an abort?
Sheldon: I made a boo-boo, all right?

Sheldon: I refuse to sink to his level.
Raj: You can't sink, with all that helium in you, you're lucky you don't flow away.

Sheldon: Who's Nowitzki?
Ramona: I'm Nowitzki.
Sheldon: Oh, so you want me to share credit with you?
Ramona: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Get out!

Sheldon: Koko learned to understands over 2000 words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.

Sheldon: Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
Penny: Hey, you don't have to be so mean.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, (smiling) have you suffered a recent blow to the head?

Ira Flatow: Thanks for being with us today, Dr. Cooper.
Sheldon: My pleasure, Ira.
Ira Flatow: Now, let's talk about magnetic monopoles. Can you explain to our audience just what a monopole is?
Sheldon: Of course. First, consider an ordinary magnet, which has, as even the most uneducated (voice becoming high-pitched) in your audience must know, two poles (clears throat) a north and south pole. If you cut that in half, you have 2 smaller magnets each with it's own north and south pole.
Ira Flatow: Dr. Cooper, I think there might be something wrong with our connection.
Sheldon: No, I hear you fine. As I was saying, an ordinary magnet has 2 poles. The primary characteristics of a monopoles is that it has only one pole, hence, "monopole".

Sheldon: Are we talking "date", the social interaction or "date" the dried fruit?

Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich. What a noob!

Leonard: Wanna catch me up?
Sheldon: Well, let's see. She attempted to open her apartment with her car key because her face is overly Midwestern. She hasn't had sex in 6 months, and she ate a fly.
Leonard: Uh-huh. Seriously, 6 months?

Sheldon: Look on the bright side.
Leonard: What's the bright side?
Sheldon: Only 9 more months to Comic-Con.

Penny: Looks like you've been to the Renaissance Fair ... I'm hoping.
Sheldon: Renaissance Fair? More of a medieval-slash-Age of Enlightment-slash-any-excuse-to-wear-a-codpiece fair.