Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 237 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Probably have to use my stupid brother. So get ready for a wedding toast delivered by his armpit.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Hello. I believe I owe the three of you an apology.
Howard: No argument here.
Sheldon: By experimenting on you, I realize I've violated your trust and possibly the Geneva Convention.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Although, if you want to be a part of the wedding party, I suppose you could be the flower girl.
Stuart: Sold.
Howard: Well, I thought Halley was gonna be the flower girl.
Sheldon: Oh, that's much better. Sorry, Stuart, you're out.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?
Penny: I can't get the damned key out.
Sheldon: Well that's not surprising. That Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional edge-mounted cylinders, whereas the key for your Volkswagon uses a center cylinder system.
Penny: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You're welcome.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Penny: God, you know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven't got a single acting job. I have accomplished nothing, haven't gotten a raise at work, haven't even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.
Sheldon: Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures. They're almost pure protein.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Penny: Okay, look, I bought the game, and I've been exploring the Island of Tordage but I can't figure out how to get past the guard captain.
Sheldon: Do you have the enchanted sword?
Penny: No. No, I have a bronze dagger.
Sheldon: You can't slay the guard captain with a bronze dagger. My Lord, it's like the car key in your apartment door all over again.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: There you go, one enchanted sword.
Penny: Right, gimme, gimme, gimme, I want to kill the guard captain. (Leaves)
Sheldon: That girl needs to get a life.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Here's the problem. I was clearly signed up to use the mainframe in Buckman 204, and Dr Winkle just wantonly ripped the sign-up sheet off the wall.
Leslie: It wasn't even an official sign-up sheet. He printed it himself and he put his name down in every slot for the next six months.
Sheldon: If it is a crime to ensure that the universities resources are not being squandered chasing sub-atomic wild geese then I plead guilty.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She is interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work, and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that too.
Leonard: Why should I do something? You're the one who introduced her to online gaming.
Sheldon: Well, yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd simply restrained yourself none of this would be happening.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Why don't you just tell her to leave you alone?
Sheldon: I did. I told her, I texted her, I sent out a very emphatic twitter. I even changed my Facebook status to Sheldon Cooper wishes Penny would leave him alone. I don't know what else to do.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you I shall become very difficult to live with.
Leonard: You mean, up until now we've been experiencing the happy fun time Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: I'll go talk to her.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Leslie, you are way off base here.
Sheldon: Hang on, Leonard, while I have no respect for Leslie as a scientist, or a human being for that matter, we have to concede her undeniable expertise in the interrelated fields of promiscuity and general sluttiness.
Leslie: Thank you. My point is that Tinkerbell just needs to get her some.
Sheldon: Some what? Oh, yes, some sexual intercourse.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Anyhow, on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being always initiated by him, and 5 being always initiated by you, how do you prefer your sexual encounters to begin?
Penny: That's on the registration?
Sheldon: Oh yes, it's quite extensive. But if we complete it, we get a free expansion pack: 75 additional quests.
Penny: Ooh, awesome. Okay, I totally like to initiate, I'm a big old five.
Sheldon: Good to know. Big ol' five.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Leonard, this is Tom.
Leonard: Hi, Tom. Sheldon? Didn't I explain to you about your little mistake in the cafeteria?
Sheldon: Yes, you were very clear. As was everyone else at the table. Tom, however, has been chosen by science as a suitable mate for Penny.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Sheldon: Oh, look, they still have Far Side. Oh, I don't get that one.
Amy: Oh, he's pushing when he should be pulling.
Sheldon: Hmm. I don't think he belongs in that gifted school, then.

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