Penny: So, um, was Leonard okay with you coming over?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, he said, I'm fine, I don't care. And he in no way said it in a manner which would lead one to believe that he was covering up feelings of anguish and betrayal.
Penny: Well, good.
Sheldon: I'm also pleased to report that he's all cried out over you.
Penny: He's been crying?
Sheldon: Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn't supposed to mention.

Penny: Oh, God, I feel terrible.
Sheldon: Do you have a stomach ache, too?
Penny: No. Why, do you?
Sheldon: No.
Penny: Why did you ask if I had one, too?
Sheldon: Just making polite dinner conversation. Your turn.

Penny: All right. So, what's new in your life?
Sheldon: Well, my new shoes are not made for running.
Penny: Have you been running?
Sheldon: No. It's just a suspicion I have.

Sheldon: Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Penny: I'm so glad you like it.
Sheldon: I do. Leonard never cooks for me.
Penny: Well, maybe that's 'cause Leonard can't cook.
Sheldon: You can't cook and you made me this.

Leonard: Oh, just come in!
Sheldon: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Maybe this isn't a good time.
Leonard: Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you.
Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.

Sheldon: And now, as promised, the tangent. "Sheldon and the Hell Hound", or "How I Lost My Hot Dogs".

Sheldon: Well, I suppose we can give it a look, and if it doesn't work out, I hear that there is a nearby Chinese restaurant that Einstein used to frequent.
Amy: Or, we pick a place we like, and don't worry about Einstein.
Sheldon: Boy, reality TV is right; brides are crazy.

Amy: Well, it seems kind of perfect, and it's close enough to your office, so you can use the bathroom you like.
Sheldon: Mm. I put a sticker over the auto-flush, so it doesn't startle me.

Amy: I really like it.
Sheldon: Mm. Oh, I must admit, I do, as well. Look at how somber all the men in these portraits are. I feel like that sets a good tone for our wedding.

Sheldon: I can't believe Leonard lied to me. What are we gonna find out next, that he's not really lactose intolerant, hmm? He's just friends with an invisible trumpet player?

Amy: So do we agree? Do we want to get married there?
Sheldon: I don't know. I mean, Einstein was a member. I like that. You know? But Leonard's a member, and that really steams my clams.
Amy: Oh, I love it when you're folksy. I'm just gonna call.

Sheldon: Yeah, so if you could just please leave before I get angry and say something I will regret about your face, your height, your personal hygiene or the fact that your science, while serviceable, lacks panache.
Leonard: That's actually one of the nicest things you've ever said about my work.
Sheldon: And now I regret it. Good-bye.

Leonard: Hey, will you steam my uniform next?
Sheldon: Interesting. Do you recall this conversation? Leonard, want to go halfsies on a steamer? No, Sheldon, we don't need a steamer. Looks like that rumpled chicken's come home to roost.

Sheldon: That's a wise policy. I once borrowed my sister's makeup for a costume contest. Got a terrible case of pinkeye. But luckily, I was going as a zombie. I won second place.

Howard: So what's our first pose going to be?
Raj: I say we begin with a classic Star Trek fight scene.
Leonard: I'll set the timer.
Howard: Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?
Sheldon: Mr. Data's weapon is his mind. I'm wielding it.