Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 244 of 262

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you I shall become very difficult to live with.
Leonard: You mean, up until now we've been experiencing the happy fun time Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: I'll go talk to her.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Leslie, you are way off base here.
Sheldon: Hang on, Leonard, while I have no respect for Leslie as a scientist, or a human being for that matter, we have to concede her undeniable expertise in the interrelated fields of promiscuity and general sluttiness.
Leslie: Thank you. My point is that Tinkerbell just needs to get her some.
Sheldon: Some what? Oh, yes, some sexual intercourse.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Anyhow, on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being always initiated by him, and 5 being always initiated by you, how do you prefer your sexual encounters to begin?
Penny: That's on the registration?
Sheldon: Oh yes, it's quite extensive. But if we complete it, we get a free expansion pack: 75 additional quests.
Penny: Ooh, awesome. Okay, I totally like to initiate, I'm a big old five.
Sheldon: Good to know. Big ol' five.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Leonard, this is Tom.
Leonard: Hi, Tom. Sheldon? Didn't I explain to you about your little mistake in the cafeteria?
Sheldon: Yes, you were very clear. As was everyone else at the table. Tom, however, has been chosen by science as a suitable mate for Penny.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Chosen by science?
Sheldon: Well, what passes for science on dating sites. They claim to use heuristic algorithms, but it may well be hokum.
Leonard: You got Penny to sign up for online dating?
Sheldon: No, of course not. No, I used trickery and deceit.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: Oh Mario, if only I could control everyone the way I control you. Hop, you little plumber. Hop, hop hop!

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: Bring out the Red Bull, it's time to rock Mario old school!

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Leonard: Sheldon. Don't make that noise, it's disrespectful.
Sheldon: I should hope so. It was a snort of derision.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Penny: Well why don't you go to the movies then?
Sheldon: Because who would be there to perform the Heimlich maneuver if I choke on my popcorn?
Penny: So, don't buy popcorn.
Sheldon: No popcorn at the mo - listen to yourself!

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: Worst Renaissance Fair ever!
Leonard: Please let it go, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It was rife with historical inaccuracies, for example, the tavern girl, serving flagons of mead, now her costume was obviously Germanic, but in 1487, the Bavarian purity laws, or Reinheitgebot, severely limited the availability of mead. At best, they would've had some spiced wine.
Leonard: You're nitpicking!
Sheldon: Oh, really? Well, here's another nit for you, the flagons would not have been made of polypropylene.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Penny: Looks like you've been to the Renaissance Fair ... I'm hoping.
Sheldon: Renaissance Fair? More of a medieval-slash-Age of Enlightment-slash-any-excuse-to-wear-a-codpiece fair.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: Look on the bright side.
Leonard: What's the bright side?
Sheldon: Only 9 more months to Comic-Con.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Raj: (Talking about Leslie Winkle) I think she's smoking hot.
Howard: I'd hit that!
Sheldon: You'd hit particulate soil in a colloidal suspension. (Seeing Howard's confusion) Mud.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: The only way she'd be able to make a contribution to science is if they resume sending chimps into space.

Showing quotes 3,646 to 3,660 of 3,928Sort by  popularity | date added | episode