Sheldon: I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also it's really scary.

Sheldon: Hello. Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality but go on. Test phrases. All right. Imatote. Ulba. Twad. All together? All right. I'm a total butt wad. Why are you laughing? Hello?
Penny: And that girls is how you make a phony phone call.

Sheldon: This is where we could've been if we hadn't stopped for dinner. This is where we could've been if Koothrapali hadn't ordered dessert.
Raj: I earned it, I ate all my brocolli.

Sheldon: No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.

Sheldon: Well if it isn't Wil Wheaton, the Jar Jar Binks of the Star Trek Universe.

Sheldon: Knock Knock.
Leonard: Who's there?
Sheldon: Hugh.
Leonard: Hugh who?
Sheldon: Hugh guys ought to listen to me.

Sheldon: I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.

Sheldon: And here is my Justice League membership card, but that doesn't prove I know Batman.

Leonard: I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: You do?
Leonard: You're using chocolate as a positive reinforcement for what you consider is a correct behavior!
Sheldon: Very good. Chocolate?

Penny: You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden.
Sheldon: I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.

Sheldon: If ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we would all have a merry Christmas.

Wolowitz: But you love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater.

Penny: Sheldon, you can't re-program people.
Sheldon: No, you can't re-program people.

Leonard: Okay fine, I'm-I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.
Sheldon: You're far too short to be Darth Vader. At best you might be a turncoat Ewok.

Sheldon: And to think, I was about to waste the last of my good haemorrhoid cream on you.