Leonard: He said no?
Sheldon: No. That's only a two letter word. You're gonna have to double down.

Howard: Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but this sort of thing happens. Higgs had to wait almost 50 years before they built a collider big enough to prove his theory.
Sheldon: 50 years? But I want to play with it now.

Stuart: Okay, well, you know, I'm gonna have to open it to assess its condition.
Sheldon: Just be gentle. It's never felt the touch of a man before.
Stuart: You don't seem like you really want to sell these.
Sheldon: Of course I don't want to sell these. These are all important to me, but not as important as science, and if this is the sacrifice I need to make, then so be it.
Stuart: Okay. Uh, why don't you leave these here with me, and I'll-I'll price 'em out for you.
Sheldon: Is it okay if I stand here and watch?
Stuart: Sure.
Sheldon: [running out of the store] If anyone asks, tell them I was brave.

Raj: You ever thought of going to Vegas?
Sheldon: Can you be more specific?
Raj: Las Vegas?
Sheldon: Oh, you mean gambling.

Sheldon: Perhaps what Leonard is obliquely referring to is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction.
Raj: Okay, who had Leonard gets a floppy disk?
Sheldon: Oh, a clever, albeit obsolete, euphemism for insufficient blood flow to the male sex organ.

Leonard: Sheldon, dinner's here.
Sheldon: Tandoori Palace?
Leonard: No, we went somewhere new.
Sheldon: You’re good-naturedly ribbing me, aren't you?
Leonard: No, look, Mumbai Palace.
Sheldon: Why? Why would we change? We had a perfectly good palace. Tandoori Palace is our palace.

Raj: What's that?
Howard: Sounds like a cricket.
Sheldon: Hang on. Based on the number of chirps per minute and the ambient temperature in this room, it is a snowy tree cricket.
Howard: Oh, give me a frickin' break. How could you possibly know that?
Sheldon: In 1890, Emile Dolbear determined that there was a fixed relationship between the number of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket and the ambient temperature. A precise relationship that is not present with ordinary field crickets.
Raj: How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is?
Sheldon: Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard, I've had unilateral control of the thermostat ever since the sweaty night of '06.

Howard: Okay, you were right about Wolverine and bone claws, but you're wrong about the cricket.
Sheldon: Howard, don't embarrass yourself, the science chirps for itself. Humorous word play.

Sheldon: Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?
Howard: Don't push me, Sheldon. I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was 13, and I remember a good deal of it.
Sheldon: Oh, really? Well, I grew up with an older brother and a very contentious twin sister and I believe I could easily best you in any physical confrontation, be it noogies, swirlies or the classic why are you hitting yourself?

Raj: Be careful.
Sheldon: If I were not being careful, your telling me to be careful would not make me careful.

Howard: All right, Sheldon, here we go, Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects. Hey, Toby. Right here, see it? The common field cricket, aka Gryllus assimilis, which is Latin for suck it, you lose.
Sheldon: Hang on. Voilà, the snowy tree cricket, aka Oecanthus fultoni, which is Latin for I'll suck nothing. Of course I'm joking because the Latin for that is nihil exsorbibo.

Leonard: Hey. What's going on?
Sheldon: Oh, you'd like to catch up on the events of the day. All right. Well, there was a half-hour wait at the bank to get into my safe deposit box, I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems, and, oh, yes, in a moment filled with biblical resonance, pride wenteth before my fall, causing my Flash 123 to goeth to Wolowitz.

Amy: Look, he may have been mean to you when you were kids, but you're both grown men now.
Sheldon: That's right. I'm a grown-up, and if I don't want to invite him to my wedding, then I won't.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: Except I have to 'cause my mommy's making me.

Leonard: So, wait, y-your brother is Dr. Tire?
Sheldon: Yes, and, apparently, it only takes half a semester of community college to get that particular doctorate.

Georgie: We haven't talked in over ten years, and now that you need something, you think you can just show up at my store? Well, let's just drop everything to accommodate Sheldon.
Sheldon: Nice try, but I am not a gullible little boy anymore. I can recognize sarcasm.
Georgie: Okay. You're right. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry. Tell me what you need. Your wish is my command.
Sheldon: That's better, thank you.