Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 247 of 262
Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor
Sheldon: Mmm. (In Mandarin) Your monkey sleeps inside me.
Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor
Howard: What's this? (hand movement)
Sheldon:That's what you did. I assumed, as in a number of languages, that the gesture was part of the phrase.
Howard: Well, it's not.
Sheldon: Why am I supposed to know that? As the teacher, it's your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies from the subject matter.
Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor
Leonard: Sheldon, this date is probably my one chance with Penny. What happens if I blow it?
Sheldon: Well, if we accept your premise, and also accept the highly improbable assumption that Penny is the only woman in the world for you, then we can logically conclude that the result of blowing it would be that you end up a lonely, bitter old man with no progeny. The image of any number of evil lighthouse keepers from Scooby-Doo cartoons comes to mind.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Sheldon: 1234 is not a secure password.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Sheldon: What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Sheldon: Hello, Penny! Leonard just left.
Penny: I know. I wanna talk to you.
Sheldon: What would we talk about? We have no overlapping areas of interest, as I'm aware of. And you know I don't care for chit-chat.
Penny: Can you just let me in?
Sheldon: Well, OK but I don't see this as a promising endeavor.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Store Clerk: Excuse me, Sir, you don't work here.
Sheldon: Yes, well apparently neither does anyone else.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Sheldon: The entire institution of gift giving makes no sense. Let's say that I go out and I spend 50 dollars on you. It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need whereas you know what you need. Now I could simplify things, just give you the 50 dollars directly and then you could give me 50 dollars on my birthday and so on, until one of us dies leaving the other one old and 50 dollars richer. And I ask you is, it worth it?
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Sheldon: Penny, if I'm going to get Leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right. I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did.
Penny: I know I'm gonna regret this, but what trauma?
Sheldon: On my 12th birthday, I really wanted a titanium centrifuge so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes.
Penny: Of course, yeah.
Sheldon: Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me-- Wow, this is hard. They got me a motorized dirt bike.
Penny: No!
Sheldon: What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?
Penny: All of them.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Sheldon: We might as well stop. It's a stalemate. You're beating me at tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a Keebler Elf.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Penny: I want to talk to you.
Sheldon: What would we talk about? We've no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of,. and you know I don't care for chit-chat.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Shopper: Excuse me, do you know anything about this stuff?
Sheldon: I know everything about this stuff.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Shopper: Which hard drive do I want? Firewire or USB?
Sheldon: It depends on what Bus you have.
Shopper: I drive a Chevy Cavalier.
Sheldon: Oh my God.
Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy
Sheldon: You're out, too, by the way.
Leonard: Say what?
Sheldon: It's nothing personal, I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they eat an Eskimo pie.
Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy
Sheldon: Eat this slice of cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.
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