Georgie: Hold up. I-I'm confused. You didn't want me at your wedding, but now that Mom won't come, you want me there.
Sheldon: I know you don't hear this a lot, but that is exactly right. Good job.
Leonard: Not helping, Sheldon.

Sheldon: Hello. Room service? I'm calling about the club sandwich on your menu. No, I-I don't want one. I just want you to spell it correctly. Unless the "club" is the Poor Typing Club. Okay. Now let's discuss this 15% "gratooty"? Yeah, well, that was rude. [hangs up] Someone just lost their gratooty.

Sheldon: Why aren't you looking at the camera?
Amy: Oh, you know, I'm just working on my peripheral vision.
Sheldon: Well, that is nonsense. Your peripheral vision is fine. Are those women's magazines making you feel bad about yourself again?
Amy: Yup, that is what's happening.
Sheldon: I have told you before, those women are airbrushed to make it look like they have good vision.

Sheldon: All right, next question. Kirk or Picard?
Leonard: Oh, uh, well, that's tricky. Um, well, uh, Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk.
Sheldon: Correct. You've passed the first barrier to roommate-hood. You may enter.

Leonard: Oh, this is pretty nice. Uh, the bedrooms are back there?
Sheldon: That depends.
Leonard: I don't understand, their, their existence is conditional?
Sheldon: No, but your ability to perceive their existence is conditional on you passing the second and third barriers.
Leonard: There's three?
Sheldon: Each more daunting than the last. Have a seat.

Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating. Come, I'll show you the rest of the apartment.
Leonard: Oh, good. I passed the barriers.
Sheldon: The second barrier. Don't get cocky.

Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series Firefly.
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: We might as well settle it now, it's going to be on for years.

Sheldon: Section nine, miscellany. The apartment's flag is a gold lion rampant on a field of azure.
Leonard: We have a flag?
Sheldon: Never fly it upside down unless the apartment's in distress.

Sheldon: (Knock * 3) Leonard?
Leonard: Shh. Just pretend we're not here.
Sheldon: (Knock * 3) Leonard?
Leonard: I'm sure he'll go away.
Sheldon: I'm just going to keep knocking till you answer. (Knock * 3) Leonard? (Knock * 3) Leonard? (Knock * 3) Leonard?
Leonard: What do you want? I didn't say come in!
Sheldon: You asked what I wanted. I wanted to come in. I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement. Specifically, section eight, visitors, subsection C, females, paragraph four, coitus. Roommates shall give each other 12 hours notice of impending coitus.
Leonard: I didn't even know her 12 hours ago.
Joyce Kim: That's it! I'm out of here!
Leonard: But, Joyce, come on.
Sheldon: 12 hours? [Looking judgmentally]

Leonard: There you go, three against one.
Sheldon: They don't get a vote. It's one against one. And according to the roommate agreement, all ties will be settled by me.
Leonard: But I said no to that.
Sheldon: And I said yes. And I settle all ties.

Sheldon: Oh, I almost forgot. While you were sleeping, I ordered room service.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: Voila! You thought it was going to be food, didn't you?

Bellman: If you need any recommendations while visiting New York, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Amy: Well, it is our honeymoon.
Sheldon: So we are going to be quite busy.
Bellman: Got it.
Amy: Harry Potter play, parts one and two.
Sheldon: And tomorrow, a tour of the sites where Nikola Tesla lived, worked and slowly went crazy. And, of course, coitus.
Bellman: Ah. Well, enjoy New York. And, I guess, coitus.

Sheldon: Do you know what I love about Broadway theater? It's so interactive.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: You're so close to the actors. It's like you're in the play.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: I mean, you yell, "Harry, watch out," he looks right at you. And not just Harry, everyone onstage.
Amy: At the risk of sounding redundant, uh-huh.

Sheldon: All right, well, it's a bit late, but I did block out the rest of the evening for conjugal relations. Should we shower? I mean before, not during. That's how you fall and break a hip.

Amy: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Uh, to take a shower. Now that sex can happen at any time, I always have to be ready. Should probably live under a waterfall.
Amy: Well, you don't have to worry about sex happening tonight.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, thanks, but I'm still gonna rinse off. I touched a lot of stuff in the gift shop.