Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 249 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Sheldon: All right, well, it's a bit late, but I did block out the rest of the evening for conjugal relations. Should we shower? I mean before, not during. That's how you fall and break a hip.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Amy: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Uh, to take a shower. Now that sex can happen at any time, I always have to be ready. Should probably live under a waterfall.
Amy: Well, you don't have to worry about sex happening tonight.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, thanks, but I'm still gonna rinse off. I touched a lot of stuff in the gift shop.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Amy: Just let it go.
Sheldon: Is everything all right? You seem testy this morning.
Amy: I'm not testy.
Sheldon: I'll have to take your word for it. There's no test for testy.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Sheldon: Is it possible that you're sexually frustrated?
Amy: Okay, now I'm testy.
Sheldon: If you had adhered to my coital schedule, your brain would be floating on a sea of oxytocin right now.
Amy: Don't talk to me about my brain. I'm a neurobiologist.
Sheldon: Then you should know the benefits of the special hug that grown-ups give each other.
Amy: Sheldon, everybody's listening.
Sheldon: Of course they're listening; we're interesting.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Sheldon: I'm only recently married. Do I stay here? Do I follow? Say something useful.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Penny: Well, guys, that was very, very thoughtful of you. Did you get me a double XL?
Amy: I told you.
Sheldon: You were right, dear.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Amy: Oh. Isn't this nice?
Sheldon: What is it?
Amy: You know, it's, uh, it's one of those- Nope, doesn't do that.
Sheldon: Oh, maybe it's candy. Lick it.
Amy: I don't want to lick it. You lick it.
Sheldon: I'm not gonna lick it. I just brushed my teeth.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Amy: Maybe we're trying too hard. Maybe it's something simple.
Sheldon: (gasps) Like Leonard and Penny. Yes, good.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Sheldon: I'm just gonna ask them.
Amy: No, you can't; it'll hurt their feelings.
Sheldon: I'm okay with that.
Amy: And they'll know you weren't smart enough to figure it out on your own.
Sheldon: You're right. Oh, this is awful. And I can't even comfort myself by stroking the fossilized tibia of a Pentaceratops.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Leonard: He's never gonna figure it out.
Penny: I know.
Sheldon: [outside the apartment] What are you?!
Leonard: Gosh, this makes me happy.
Sheldon: Yeah.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Sheldon: Howard, I don't often say this, but, good, you're here.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Amy: So we put a little picture of me and a little picture of Sheldon in it.
Penny: In-in the locket?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: That was in a lost and found box?
Sheldon: Exactly.
Penny: Where we hid it?
Sheldon: So really, you gave us three amazing gifts. You gave the locket, the adventure and the realization that Amy and I can do anything as long as we work together.

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Leonard: What is going on with you?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure you have a perfectly stupid reason.
Sheldon: I don't do anything for a stupid reason. Except, perhaps, Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'd argue that's more whimsical than stupid.

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Leonard: Be careful, Sheldon. I don't think you can afford to lose a second best friend.
I don't see anyone lining up to be your third.
Sheldon: D- Wait. [typing] "Snarky comebacks" Oh, here we go. "You have your entire life to be a jerk, why not take today off?" That was harsh, but he was asking for it.

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Tam: Sheldon, I needed to stay in Texas. And you needed to come here. I knew you were gonna do amazing things, and meet amazing people who were gonna respect you, because you're brilliant. And because they never had to fish you out of a dumpster.
Sheldon: Well, they have, but it was during my short-lived parkour phase.

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