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Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 249 of 255

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Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Sheldon: Look at the organizational chart. You're clearly listed as founder.
Leonard: Well, yes, and you're listed as Chief Executive Officer, Chief Financial Officer and Chief Operating Officer.
Sheldon: You missed Chief Science Officer, Chairman of the Board, and Head of the Secret Santa Committee.

Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Sheldon: What it is is a cacophonous assault of eucalyptus, bayberry, cinnamon and vanilla. It's as if my head were trapped in the pajamas of a sultan.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Sheldon: A common spare. The Miss Congeniality of the bowling pageant. Before you jump on Twitter to tout your modest accomplishment, watch how its really done.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Leonard: Howard and his mother are at the hospital. Come on, we gotta go.
Penny: Oh, my God! What happened?
Leonard: I don't know, I just got a text. Come on, hurry.
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: Sheldon, let's go!
Sheldon: To a hospital? Full of sick people? Oh, I don't think so.
Penny: Okay, well, your friend and his mother are there, we're going.
Sheldon: I can't.
Penny: Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of germs.
Sheldon: Not all germs. Just the ones that will kill me. It's the same way I'm not afraid of all steak knives, just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax.
Leonard: Right, fine. I'll tell Howard you didn't come because you're more concerned about your own well-being than his.
Sheldon: I would think he would know that.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: Three thousand hours. Three thousand hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Amy: Why don't we do something athletic like go over to the university pool and play water polo?
Leonard: No good, Sheldon doesn't float.
Sheldon: That is true. I have a higher than normal body density. If I run too deep a bath, I drown.

Quote from the episode The Confirmation Polarization

President Siebert: You know, Caltech has 38 Nobel laureates. If you win, you and Amy will be 39 and 40.
Sheldon: Ooh! Dibs on 39.
Amy: What's the difference?
Sheldon: Wha- You are right, there is no difference at all.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Sheldon: All right, I suppose I'll go put on my bus pants.
Leonard: What the hell are bus pants?
Sheldon: They are pants one wears over one's regular pants when one sits on bus seats that other people have previously sat on. But perhaps from your lofty heights atop the corporate ladder, you've lost touch with the struggles of the common man.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Sheldon: I realize it's irrational, but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced.
Amy: Well, this isn't an easy time for him. He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, he's probably humiliated.
Sheldon: Yes, probably. But until we know for sure, how can I feel better?

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Penny: Okay, you know what? You are unbelievable. You buy all these superhero T-shirts, but when it's time for you to step up and do the right thing, you just hide in the laundry room.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll go. Just for the record, my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital. She went in to visit my Uncle Roger, caught something and bit the dust a week later. The two of them now share a coffee can on my mother's mantel.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: Oh! There isn't enough chamomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Leonard: Oh, uh, Priya's calling in a few minutes on Skype, and we are gonna have a dinner date.
Sheldon: It’s eight o'clock in the morning in Mumbai. How can she have dinner?
Leonard: Fine, whatever. Priya will be having breakfast.
Sheldon: All right, so technically it's not a dinner date. I suppose you could call it a, uh, dinfast date. But if you did, you'd open yourself to peer-based mocking, such as, "Hey, Leonard, how was your dinfast with Priya last night?"
Leonard: That doesn't sound like mocking.
Sheldon: You didn't let me finish. Dinfast (rolls eyes).

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Penny: Hey, you don't need Leonard and his app. You can make one with me.
Sheldon: With you?
Penny: Seriously, I have a great idea for one.
Sheldon: Is it better than your idea to move to Los Angeles and become a famous actress?
Penny: Okay, look. When you see someone wearing shoes you like, you just snap a picture of them, and the app goes on the Internet to find out where you can buy them.
Sheldon: That's your app idea?
Penny: Well, you don't like it?
Sheldon: I didn't say that. But no, I don't.

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: What happened?
Leonard: Howard's at the Mars Rover lab. He says he's in trouble. DEFCON 5.
Sheldon: DEFCON 5? Well, there's no need to rush.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: DEFCON 5 means no danger. DEFCON 1 is a crisis.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: Are those soy-based candles?
Leonard: I don't know. Why?
Sheldon: Paraffin candles may contain carcinogens. Unless lung cancer is the ambiance you were going for at your dinfast. Dinfast (rolls eyes).

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