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Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 253 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation

Sheldon: FYI, secret keeping? Hate it. Hand-holding? Not a fan. Hammerhead shark? I love that thing. Yeah, it's another fish with a tool on its head.

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Sheldon: Cathedra mea, regulae meae. That's Latin for my chair, my rules.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Leonard: What do you want from me? I just don't give a rat's ass.
Howard: Would that be a giant rat's ass?
Sheldon: For the record, giant rats are possible.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
Sheldon: Honestly, I barely passed my test. And the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Leonard: Well, if you can vote yourself in, then we can vote you out.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Fine. Make a motion at the next meeting.
Leonard: When is that?
Sheldon: It's the first Saturday of every month. Unless there's an emergency meeting.
Penny: Then we call an emergency meeting.
Sheldon: You really don't have to. This is the first Saturday of the month.

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Sheldon: Last question. In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, re-establishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind.
Leonard: Uh, I'm gonna go with preserving the knowledge.
Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Sheldon: I call for a vote of no confidence and an immediate change in leadership.
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon, stop it.
Sheldon: When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to dissolve the bonds that tie three competent scientists together...

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Amy: For the last time, no Hulk, no Batman, no life-size statues.
Sheldon: Wow. I'm starting to think you didn't mean it when you said you wanted to spruce up the place.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: So, tell me about your scalar dark energy experiment.
Ramona Nowitzki: Not 'til you tell me about your latest paper on quantum loop theory.
Sheldon: Oh. You must be one of those dessert before dinner people.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Leonard: Can we please talk about something else? Maybe something vaguely related to life as we know it on this planet?
Howard: Okay, how about this for a topic, why is Leonard being a giant douche? Assuming giant douches are possible.
Sheldon: Of course they are. Leonard's being one.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Leonard: I am so stupid. I-I actually thought my mom was genuinely proud of me. It turns out, she's just using me as research for her new book.
Sheldon: Oh, what a relief. I thought Beverly was mad at me. Thank you, Leonard. That is a weight off my shoulders.

Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation

Leonard: Okay, I think I understand.
Sheldon: You do?
Leonard: The guy who seems like an emotionless robot is you, but your relationship with Amy is causing you to transform into a red-blooded man with sexual desires.
Sheldon: That is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Leonard: I did notify you.
Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you? Oh, drat. Hoisted by my own spam filter.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Leonard: That's enough, Sheldon.
Sheldon: All right, let's get right to the vote. Show of hands all those opposed to Leonard and his reign of tyranny.
Leonard: Okay, that's it. You're fired.
Sheldon: Really? Why?
Leonard: Because you're impossible to work with.
Sheldon: I see. And is that open for discussion?

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Raj: Maybe he's having a lover's spat with Penny.
Leonard: No, there was no spat.
Howard: Oh, but something happened.
Leonard: I don't want to talk about it.
Sheldon: But I sense you're going to and I don't want to hear about it. Excuse me.

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