Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 254 of 259

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Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Sheldon: I realize it's irrational, but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced.
Amy: Well, this isn't an easy time for him. He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, he's probably humiliated.
Sheldon: Yes, probably. But until we know for sure, how can I feel better?

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Penny: Okay, you know what? You are unbelievable. You buy all these superhero T-shirts, but when it's time for you to step up and do the right thing, you just hide in the laundry room.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll go. Just for the record, my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital. She went in to visit my Uncle Roger, caught something and bit the dust a week later. The two of them now share a coffee can on my mother's mantel.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: Oh! There isn't enough chamomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Leonard: Oh, uh, Priya's calling in a few minutes on Skype, and we are gonna have a dinner date.
Sheldon: It’s eight o'clock in the morning in Mumbai. How can she have dinner?
Leonard: Fine, whatever. Priya will be having breakfast.
Sheldon: All right, so technically it's not a dinner date. I suppose you could call it a, uh, dinfast date. But if you did, you'd open yourself to peer-based mocking, such as, "Hey, Leonard, how was your dinfast with Priya last night?"
Leonard: That doesn't sound like mocking.
Sheldon: You didn't let me finish. Dinfast (rolls eyes).

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Penny: Hey, you don't need Leonard and his app. You can make one with me.
Sheldon: With you?
Penny: Seriously, I have a great idea for one.
Sheldon: Is it better than your idea to move to Los Angeles and become a famous actress?
Penny: Okay, look. When you see someone wearing shoes you like, you just snap a picture of them, and the app goes on the Internet to find out where you can buy them.
Sheldon: That's your app idea?
Penny: Well, you don't like it?
Sheldon: I didn't say that. But no, I don't.

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: What happened?
Leonard: Howard's at the Mars Rover lab. He says he's in trouble. DEFCON 5.
Sheldon: DEFCON 5? Well, there's no need to rush.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: DEFCON 5 means no danger. DEFCON 1 is a crisis.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: Are those soy-based candles?
Leonard: I don't know. Why?
Sheldon: Paraffin candles may contain carcinogens. Unless lung cancer is the ambiance you were going for at your dinfast. Dinfast (rolls eyes).

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: What's that?
Howard: Sounds like a cricket.
Sheldon: Hang on. Based on the number of chirps per minute and the ambient temperature in this room, it is a snowy tree cricket.
Howard: Oh, give me a frickin' break. How could you possibly know that?
Sheldon: In 1890, Emile Dolbear determined that there was a fixed relationship between the number of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket and the ambient temperature. A precise relationship that is not present with ordinary field crickets.
Raj: How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is?
Sheldon: Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard, I've had unilateral control of the thermostat ever since the sweaty night of '06.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Penny: Champagne, champagne, and for the world's tallest second grader, apple juice.
Sheldon: No bendy straw? Some party.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Penny: What?
Sheldon: This is for you.
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I've been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip Cathy. When she's upset, she says Ack! and eats ice cream.
Penny: Um, Ack!
Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would have brought you a lasagna.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Howard: Whoa! Somebody's auctioning off a jewelled ostrich bridle!
Sheldon: No. Glenn's was leather. He was a simple ostrich. Is! Is, I haven't given up hope.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Leonard: Listen, I don't want to be rude, but Priya's gonna be calling any minute, so...
Sheldon: Oh, yes, Priya. Leonard, you know I make a point of never interfering in your personal affairs.
Leonard: Yes, I've always admired that about you.
Sheldon: As well you should. But I'm going to make an exception here.
Leonard: Oh, good.
Sheldon: Priya has moved back to India to pursue her law career. Instead of desperately trying to keep this intercontinental relationship alive, you could use that time to take up a hobby.
Leonard: A hobby?
Sheldon: Yes. I read recently about a fellow in Kansas with an enormous ball of twine. I bet you could give him a run for his money.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: Okay, you were right about Wolverine and bone claws, but you're wrong about the cricket.
Sheldon: Howard, don't embarrass yourself, the science chirps for itself. Humorous word play.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Penny: Sheldon, I'm gonna make some cocoa. Do you want some?
Sheldon: Do you make it with milk or water?
Penny: Milk.
Sheldon: Real cocoa?
Penny: That's what it says on the packet.
Sheldon: Do you have those little marshmallows?
Penny: No, sorry.
Sheldon: Well, I suppose it's appropriate.
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: A disappointing drink for a disappointing day.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Amy: But understanding how other people are feeling, that's a weak spot for you.
Sheldon: I have gotten much better at that.
Amy: Have you? How am I feeling right now?
Sheldon: What the - How should I know? Excited? Itchy? Give me the first letter.

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