Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 255 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Sheldon: Were you trying to impress Penny?
Leonard: No, no not at all. ... A little bit.
Sheldon: How'd that work out for you?
Penny: (entering the apartment) Leonard, ready to go?
Sheldon: Libido 1, Truth 0.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: Perhaps what Leonard is obliquely referring to is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction.
Raj: Okay, who had Leonard gets a floppy disk?
Sheldon: Oh, a clever, albeit obsolete, euphemism for insufficient blood flow to the male sex organ.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: She's always been a huge fan of my work, and now she's doing research at Caltech.
Amy: Huge fan, you say?
Sheldon: Yes. I think you'd like her. She's extremely intelligent, just like you. Unlike you, she's tall, blonde and used to be an Olympic swimmer.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: Can you at least refer me to a rogue ex-cop?
Police Officer: What?
Sheldon: You know, one who was drummed off the force because he refused to play by the rules, and now he hires himself out to impose his own brand of rough justice?
Police Officer: No.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Leonard: Sheldon, dinner's here.
Sheldon: Tandoori Palace?
Leonard: No, we went somewhere new.
Sheldon: You’re good-naturedly ribbing me, aren't you?
Leonard: No, look, Mumbai Palace.
Sheldon: Why? Why would we change? We had a perfectly good palace. Tandoori Palace is our palace.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Leonard: I know that, it's just after all these years, you'd think I would have learned.
Sheldon: Hmm. It's too bad you didn't. Well, see? Compassion.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Raj: Hey, why am I in charge of phone support? Seems a bit racist.
Sheldon: A customer service representative with an Indian accent will create the impression that we're a vast enterprise that uses overseas call centers.
Raj: Oh, very clever. But still racist.
Sheldon: Duly noted, Steve from Wichita.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Sheldon: Greetings, gentlemen. How goes your little project?
Raj: You mean, Project Leonwoloppali?
Sheldon: Ah, a combination of all your names. Very clever. I assume Koothranardowitz was taken?

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Sheldon: I mean, it's unfair. People just assume I'm going to be upset by Raj moving into my old room.
Amy: But you are, aren't you?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm outraged.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Sheldon: Remember, seven o'clock.
Penny: Got it.
Sheldon: Pacific Daylight time!
Penny: Bite me!
Sheldon: Please reserve that butch spirit for the lanes.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: It's all gone. All gone.
Leonard: I'm really sorry, Sheldon.
Sheldon: What kind of world do we live in, where a man would take another man's battle ostrich?

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Sheldon: It's a quark-gluon plasma.
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: It's asymptotically free partons inside a quark-gluon plasma.
Leonard: Nothing with quarks.
Sheldon: It's an observational rebuttal of the Lambda-CDM model of the universe.
Leonard: No.
Penny: It's a chocolate chip cookie.
Amy: Yes.
Leonard: How could you miss that?
Sheldon: Hey, if you want someone to guess chocolate chip cookie, you draw a glass of milk next to it.
Leonard: Penny got it.
Sheldon: Yeah, only after I eliminated all the obvious answers. You're welcome.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Leonard: Trust me, this will be just fine.
Howard: You are the authority on just fine.
Leonard: What's that supposed to mean?
Howard: (after Raj whispers to him) Yeah, exactly. Not bad, but not great.
Penny: What are they talking about?
Leonard: I don't know.
Sheldon: I know. As I'm sure you're aware...
Leonard: Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
Sheldon: If that's Morse code, that's terrible.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Raj: Hey, guys, before Anu gets here, can I talk about the seating situation? I really don't want her to sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Oh. No problem. Bernadette, floor.
Bernadette: Hey!
Howard: Yeah, you really can't make my wife sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Fine. Howard, floor.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Howard: Why am I listed as your executive assistant?
Sheldon: Because the word secretary has fallen into disrepute. FYI, my mother's birthday is coming up. I'm going to need you to pick up a present.

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