Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 257 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Penny: I give up. He's impossible.
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist. I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: Okay, I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: Really?
Leonard: Yes, you're using chocolates as positive reinforcement for what you consider correct behavior.
Sheldon: Very good. Chocolate?
Leonard: No, I don't want any chocolate! Sheldon, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat.
Sheldon: Actually, it turns out I can.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Penny: What's this cartoon called again?
Leonard: Oshikuru: Demon Samurai.
Sheldon: And it's not a cartoon, it's anime.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: Yeah, I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Leonard: I don't think I can go to the North Pole.
Sheldon: OK, Leonard, I know you're concerned about disappointing me, but I want you to take comfort from the knowledge that my expectations of you are very low.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. Bazinga!

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: You know I'm in such a good mood I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp of the English language folksy and charming today.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: I can't sleep.
Penny: Maybe that's because your hole is still open.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?

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