Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 259 of 262

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Sheldon: You know, Amy, I don't understand. Are we broken up or not? It's like you can't make up your mind.
Amy: It's because you're not giving me any space to think.
Sheldon: Well, you should think fast. Because men can sire offspring their entire life, but those eggs you're toting around have a sell-by date.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Amy: You know, I had a feeling you were using the wrong computational model, but I didn't say anything 'cause you're so sensitive.
Sheldon: Just because I'm easily bothered by light, heat, smell, sound, and the way birds look at me does not mean I'm sensitive.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Sheldon: It's fine. I don't need to be a theoretical physicist. There's lots of things I could use this brain for. I could be an accountant for the mob. I could guess people's weight at the fair.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Here, I found this pizza flyer in your fence.
Wil Wheaton: Thank you.
Sheldon: Okay, now you owe me a favor. Turn down the role of Professor Proton.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: I'm sorry, can we do this another time? Amy's just about to realize she wants to watch a Hulk marathon.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Quote from the episode The Wildebeest Implementation

Leonard: Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life.
Sheldon: Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn't been such a hound dog, we'd all have time machines.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption

Sheldon: I was the nation's smartest caterpillar and after pupating in our nation's railway system, I have burst forth as the world's smartest butterfly.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Leonard: Until we get married a third time, you guys will never have to see each other again.
Alfred Hofstadter: Well, you know, actually that's not the case. Mary may visit me in New York.
Mary Cooper: Mm-hmm. And he's never been to Texas.
Alfred Hofstadter: Maybe we meet halfway.
Sheldon: In the Chattahoochee National Forest in Georgia? I can't be the only one that knows that's halfway.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: Leonard, I've been meaning to ask you: what size shoe do you wear?
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: I'm trying to take more of an interest in other people's lives.
Leonard: That's nice. I wear a size eight and a half.
Sheldon: (giggles) That's small.

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Amy: Tempting choices, but I have something special planned for tonight.
Sheldon: What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?

Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Sheldon: Well, if you want romance then let's have romance. Oh look, there's wine. Mmm, grape juice that burns! Now let's gaze into each other's eyes. You blinked, I win.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: Let's see what's next. Oh, kissing's romantic.
*Sheldon kisses Amy*
Amy: That was nice.
Sheldon: Good.

Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: As it happens, I'm also spending the day with a beloved children's science personality. Isn't that right, new friend and colleague Bill Nye, the Science Guy?
Sheldon: Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse. I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.

Quote from the episode The Skywalker Incursion

Sheldon: Boy, some people are just glass-half-empty.
Leonard: The glass is empty, Sheldon. It's completely empty. If you gave that glass to a man who was dying of thirst, he would be dead. Do you know why?
Sheldon: Before I answer, was he a smoker?

Showing quotes 3,871 to 3,885 of 3,929Sort by  popularity | date added | episode