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Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 261 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Come on, Leonard, if you roll a six, Penny dies horribly in a nuclear meltdown. See what I mean when I say the fun is real?

Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Sheldon: Oh apple juice stay where you are.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Sheldon: Leonard, let me tell you something. Personal robots cannot get here soon enough.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Although, if you want to be a part of the wedding party, I suppose you could be the flower girl.
Stuart: Sold.
Howard: Well, I thought Halley was gonna be the flower girl.
Sheldon: Oh, that's much better. Sorry, Stuart, you're out.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Penny: You know, you're the only person who could win the biggest prize in science and still be upset about it.
Sheldon: It's just all the times I thought about winning, I never thought about how it would ch-- affect my life. I'm sorry, I'm genuinely concerned about your liver.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: Hang on, hang on! We're smart, we can figure this out. Okay, so: Mary and Beverly can't be together. Uh, Alfred and Beverly can't be together. Leonard and I can't be together. Now, I could be with Alfred but I don't like his face.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Amy: Are you excited to see your son walk down the aisle?
Alfred Hofstadter: Yes, I am. I'm just feeling a little guilty about all the trouble I've caused.
Mary Cooper: Oh, so am I.
Sheldon: You made God sad today, Mom.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Leonard: Some people name their kids after places.
Howard: Like what, Walla Walla Wolowitz?
Sheldon: If you think that is better than Ozymandias Wolowitz, then you have been breathing in the poisonous gas that my troops illegally dispersed.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Sheldon: Just pick out anything? Maybe at the same time we can pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size, or pick out his career for him without knowing his attitude, or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fiber requirements or his feelings about little marshmallows.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Sheldon: I am facing a great deal of work. And I do like things better when famous people also like them.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Howard: Do you have any advice for us?
Marty: Well, I don't know much about patent law. But, uh, my advice is: hear them out, offer as little information as possible, and whatever you do, don't sign anything.
Sheldon: "Don't sign anything"? That's your advice? Okay, so, uh, if during this meeting, one of us were to, say, complete an oil painting, you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned?
Marty: That's not what I meant.
Sheldon: That's what you said.
Marty: That's not what I meant.
Sheldon: This must be how you practice law in Boca Raton, by saying things you don't mean and meaning things you don't say.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Sheldon: When we're sleeping, she breathes on me. One night, it got so bad I almost grabbed Toto and headed for the storm cellar.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Penny: Hi.
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard's mad at me, so I'm making him lemon bars.
Penny: Does he even like lemon bars?
Sheldon: Not really. But I'm mad at him, too, so lemon bars it is.

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah, hi, hi. How's it going?
Sheldon: Uh, can't complain. Thanks for asking. What were you doing out at three o'clock in the morning?
Leonard: Well, uh - uh, what are you doing up?
Sheldon: I was using the bathroom.
Leonard: Yeah, well, so was I.
Sheldon: Really? I didn't see you in there.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Howard: You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in the wheelchair.

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