Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 262 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

(Amy enters from the ensuite bathroom after Sheldon overheard her pre-bed routine)
Amy: Why'd you switch sides?
Sheldon: Be grateful I'm still in the room.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: So, how is everyone?
Amy: Miserable and exhausted.
Sheldon: Really? I slept great.
Amy: Well, I didn't, and it's your fault.
Sheldon: How? You had the whole floor to yourself.

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: In fact, I was briefly able to see the inside of my sister's guinea pig, Snowball, before he caught fire. It led to an interesting expression in our house, not a snowball's chance in a CAT scanner.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Leonard: Oh, Dr. Siebert, twelve o'clock.
Howard: Why's the president of the university slumming in the cafeteria?
Sheldon: Perhaps he's emulating Shakespeare's Henry V, who dressed as a commoner and mingled among them, to find out how he was being perceived by his subjects. Course, if he'd have read any of the thirteen hundred e-mails I've sent him on the subject of his administration, he could have saved himself the trouble.

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Dr. Zane: I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to sit here and listen to a bunch of work talk.
Sheldon: Oh, no, I love it. No, but let's talk about work. Amy's work, my work. Yeah, why don't we start with my work?

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Amy: It would be nice if they cast a woman.
Sheldon: Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters. Leave us something.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Penny: What can I do for you?
Sheldon: Just a minute, I want to make sure Leonard can't hear us. (loudly) I've got a box of cupcakes. (silence) Okay, we're good.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Point of inquiry, why did you put your car key in the door lock?
Penny: Why? I'll tell you why. Because today I had an audition, it took me two hours to get there, I waited an hour for my turn, and before I could even start they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest? What the hell does that even mean?
Sheldon: Well, the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples who, well they have a characteristic facial bone structure...
Penny: I know what it means, Sheldon!

Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Sheldon: Uh-oh. That's the fourth time she's been to the bathroom in the last two hours.
Amy: So?
Sheldon: Her breakfast was binding. I made sure of that.
Amy: So?
Sheldon: So she clearly has some sort of stomach distress. If it's viral, we're all susceptible.
Amy: She's probably just airsick.
Sheldon: Yeah, but what if she's not? What if we get what she has? What if we infect the King of Sweden? That's how wars start. [Penny leaves the bathroom and instantly heads back] All right, that's it, this is Outbreak and she's the monkey.
Amy: [faintly] Wait. Stop. Be reasonable.

Quote from the episode The Inspiration Deprivation

Sheldon: Amy. Thank goodness you're home. I don't know if you can tell, but I am literally losing my mind.
Amy: You are?
Sheldon: Isn't it obvious? I just used "literally" figuratively. Like a crazy person.

Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection

Amy: How come if we're the smart people, we don't do this every night?
Sheldon: What's sixteen times 14?
Amy: My burps taste like cranberry juice.
Sheldon: And there's your answer.

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Sheldon: Excuse me. Thirty what, under thirty what, to watch what?
Raj: Thirty visionaries under thirty years of age to watch as they challenge the preconceptions of their field.
Sheldon: If I had a million guesses, I never would have gotten that.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Oh, good, you're home. I need you to do me a favor.
Leonard: Sure.
Sheldon: Go apologize to Penny.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Right now would be good.
Penny: (knocking) Leonard!
Sheldon: Although, a few minutes ago would have been better.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Raj: Why did Howard leave you in the middle of the road anyway?
Sheldon: We had a difference of opinion.
Raj: Over what?
Sheldon: Whether or not he was trying to kill me. For the record, I maintain he was.

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