Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 3 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Stuart: All right, let's see what you got. Huh. Is this a complete run of Todd McFarlane's Spawn?
Sheldon: (gasps loudly) Yes.
Stuart: Ooh, look at this. Giant-Size X-Men number one, Len Wein's relaunch of the franchise.
Sheldon: Yeah. I know what it is. I'm the one who bought it, bagged it, boarded it and taped it shut while wearing white cotton gloves.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Hi.
Sheldon: Are you doing anything?
Leonard: No. I'm just sitting here at my desk typing on my computer for nothing.
Sheldon: That was my guess, but I didn't want to assume.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Howard: Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but this sort of thing happens. Higgs had to wait almost 50 years before they built a collider big enough to prove his theory.
Sheldon: 50 years? But I want to play with it now.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Leonard: He said no?
Sheldon: No. That's only a two letter word. You're gonna have to double down.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: So with this level of high-power laser array, we would actually be able to solve the black hole information paradox once and for all.
President Siebert: That's impressive, and how much funding were you looking for?
Sheldon: $20 million.
President Siebert: Really? You think you can build that for $20 million?
Sheldon: Not a chance.
President Siebert: I'm sorry, then why are you asking me for it?
Sheldon: Because once you've spent $20 million, you're much more likely to give me an additional 50.
President Siebert: So actually, what you're saying is with $70 million, you can build this.
Sheldon: I can see why you'd think that, but no. You can't go to the board of trustees and say you gave Sheldon Cooper $70 million and have nothing to show for it. No, the only way you'd be able to save face is to double down.
President Siebert: So 140?
Sheldon: And then double again.
President Siebert: 280?
Sheldon: And then - good news - not quite double again. So, uh, what do you say? We have a deal?

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: But I need it. It's the only way to settle the contradictions between gravity and quantum mechanics.
Penny: Well, it's too much money, you can't ask for that all at once.
Sheldon: Well, what if I ask for it in six easy installments of $83,333,333.33?

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Penny: This is just to give you ideas. You know, do-do you want something simple and elegant? I mean, do you want a train?
Sheldon: [entering the apartment] Ooh, we're talking about trains.
Amy: Not the kind of trains you like.
Sheldon: Oh, I like all kinds of trains: steam, diesel, coal, elevated, bullet. I defy you to name a train that I don't like.
Penny: The kind on the back of a wedding dress?
Sheldon: I did not see that coming. Good job.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Leonard: I guess you could create a contained microscopic black hole.
Sheldon: Huh. Interesting. Welcome back, Leonard. Sorry, you're out.
Raj: What did I do?
Sheldon: Exactly.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Leonard: Your theories are pretty abstract. I wouldn't even know how to design an experiment to prove them.
Sheldon: Says the experimental physicist. Well, I know a place the university can make some cuts. Bye, Leonard!

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Leonard: What-what are you doing?
Sheldon: The light is red so I came to a stop.
Leonard: You're in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk. You don't have to obey traffic laws.
Sheldon: I know I don't have to. The fun is choosing to.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Penny: What if you asked for $20 million?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I'm trying to do science, not hire Lady Gaga to come to my birthday.
Penny: Do you even know who Lady Gaga is?
Sheldon: Presumably, the wife of Lord Gaga.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Raj: In order to corroborate your string theory research, you'd have to create a black hole. Wouldn't that destroy the Earth?
Sheldon: Perhaps, but we'd all go to the grave knowing I was right.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: Well, how about this? For $100,000, I will design the flag of your house or apartment. And for $1 million, I will come over and tell you what's wrong with you.
Leonard: Aw, and all these years, I've been getting that for free.
Sheldon: Don't be smug, Leonard. That's one of the things that's wrong with you.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: Wow! You look beautiful.
Amy: Really? 'Cause I was gonna return it.
Sheldon: Why would you return it? You look like a pile of swans.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Sheldon: Why are you reading a comic book?
Amy: Denise recommended it to me. It's the Rebirth Omnibus. She thought it would be a good entry point for me into the DC Universe, and I have to say I really do like-
Sheldon: You know, Amy, Amy, I've talked a lot about comic books lately, can we talk about something else?

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