Penny: What'd you say to her?
Sheldon: Well, I just asked her if I should start watching the new Flash TV series.
Penny: And that made her angry?
Sheldon: Baffling, right? We were necking like a couple of hooligans under the school bleachers. I stopped so I could ask the question. Next thing I know, good-bye, kissy face. Hello, yelly face.

Penny: Why is everyone so concerned with us setting a date? We're committed to each other. We're happy. A ceremony isn't gonna change anything.
Sheldon: So you're never getting married? It's his whining, isn't it?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not a whiner.
Sheldon: It's amusing that he doesn't hear it.

Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

Leonard: I can't believe I'm spending my wedding night with you.
Sheldon: Really? I never imagined it any other way.

Howard: Well, Sheldon, there's something about this van that you're going to find very interesting.
Sheldon: It runs on syphilis?

Sheldon: As a child, when faced with a dilemma, my mother encouraged me to ask, "€œWhat would Jesus do?" The answer to that was always, "Love thy neighbor." But my neighbor had a dead tooth, so that wasn't going to happen.
But that's why I changed it to, "€œWhat would Spock do?"
Adam Nimoy: Did you find that helpful?
Sheldon: Yes. Oh, for example, three years ago when I discovered Penny was eating all my Pop-Tarts, instead of getting angry or vindictive, you know, I got a floor safe.
Penny: I knew I could smell 'em.

Sheldon: Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend.

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper's descent into madness day two. It's 2:25 a.m. and I feel the urge to urinate. My normal urination time is 7:10 a.m., but here I am, in the middle of the night, struggling to keep my mind sharp and my pajamas dry. It's only a matter of time before my tenuous grasp on reality fades. I suppose I should pee while I still know what a toilet is.

Sheldon: Dear Crazy Future Sheldon, this is a thermostat. It controls the temperature of the apartment. The ideal setting is 72 degrees. If you find this too cold, then put on a jacket. A straitjacket, 'cause 72's the best and you're crazy.

Sheldon: Thursday can't get here soon enough. I'm taking off work to watch the original trilogy while I eat enough Star Wars cereal to choke a wookie.

Penny: Sweetie, you do realize Thursday is Amy's birthday?
Sheldon: And you do realize I bought my ticket when Amy and I were broken up. I hope you didn't need anything in that case, because it's closed.

Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

Bernadette: How about something a little more realistic?
Sheldon: Well, Amy enjoys knitting her own sweaters, so I was thinking of getting her an all expenses-paid trip to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.
Penny: (Silence) Sorry, I was waiting for the Bazinga!

Bernadette: Come on, it could be romantic. The two of them away together, keeping each other warm in snowy Wisconsin.
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, no. She'd be going alone. If you think I'm scared of birds, you should see me around sheep.

Professor Proton: I was just curious. How'd it go?
Sheldon: It was amazing. I saw it a few days later. What a movie!
Professor Proton: What about Amy?
Sheldon: Oh, she liked it fine, but she doesn't have the history with the franchise like I do.
Professor Proton: Okay. Good talk.