Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 5 of 230

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Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Howard: The point is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides. You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Leonard: Sheldon, I got you your tangerine chicken. I hope you're hungry.
Sheldon: Well, of course I'm hungry. And as I have no plans to eat with any other team, I will consume my tangerine chicken with the appropriate gusto. Mm, mm, mm!
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, do we still have hot dogs?
Leonard: I don't know. Why?
Sheldon: Just making dinner conversation.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Leonard: Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Certainly. It's not like I have to moderate my food intake because I'm planning on eating again very shortly. Mm, mm, mm!

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Sheldon: I'm glad we're still friends.
Penny: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?
Penny: Everyone.
Sheldon: Harsh terms. But all right, I'll just substitute intercourse.
Penny: Great.
Sheldon: Or fornication. Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones, so I'll hold that in reserve.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Penny: How's Leonard doing?
Sheldon: He seems all right. Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that.
Penny: I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
Sheldon: I'd rather you pretend I didn't say it.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Sheldon: I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce.
Penny: Yep.
Sheldon: That's the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Penny: Why don't you give me an hour and come over?
Sheldon: Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?
Penny: I don't have hot dogs.
Sheldon: Oh, it's all right, I do. Oh. You're in for what my mother calls a real Eye-talian treat.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Sheldon: Instead of being in charge, I can be the vocal opposition, criticizing and badgering the president at every turn.
Amy: I think you'll be really good at that.
Sheldon: Me, too.
Leonard: I think I made a huge mistake.
Penny: Me, too.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: You know, it can take some time for pigment to form. You're still not out of the woods.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: Don't worry. I don't expect you to bear them all. I'm sure we can find a suitable uterus to rent. [looks to Penny]
Leonard: No!
Penny: Uh-uh!
Amy: We weren't thinking about you.
Sheldon: Of course not. (grunts) I am going to the kitchen. Can I get anybody anything? Penny, nice glass of milk and a multivitamin?

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: Guys. Guys, wake up. Terrible news.
Penny: Oh, my God. What, what, what? Is it the baby?
Sheldon: No. No, no, we miscalculated our unassigned armor class units. We need to start over.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, not from the beginning. Just from when the tanks started moving.
Leonard: (sighs) That was five hours ago.
Sheldon: Mm, no. No, that was two hours ago. It only feels like five.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: All right, that moves us on to the tactical shipping phase. Penny, I believe, as logistics commander, that's you.
Penny: Okay. [waving a white napkin] I surrender.
Sheldon: Nice try, Penny. It takes more than everybody not enjoying it to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Amy: Sheldon, we're talking about something important here.
Sheldon: (sighs) Fine. If you pick a baby name, can we get back to playing?
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: All right, here we go. Ranatanata.
Raj: You can't name him Ranatanata.
Sheldon: Oh, right, it's a boy. That'd be ridiculous. (gasps) What about Ozymandias?
Penny: Are you making these up or having a stroke?
Sheldon: Ozymandias is from a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley. Oh, oh! Bysshe Wolowitz. Solved. Back to the game. Heyo! Sandstorm!

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Leonard: Some people name their kids after places.
Howard: Like what, Walla Walla Wolowitz?
Sheldon: If you think that is better than Ozymandias Wolowitz, then you have been breathing in the poisonous gas that my troops illegally dispersed.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: Hey, Bernadette, it's your turn. Penny's air force is strafing your supply line in Tobruk.
Bernadette: We're kind of busy.
Sheldon: Okay, but you're being pretty rude. Everyone did come over to play this game with you.

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