Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 1 of 11

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Stuart: So, you and Ruchi?
Raj: Yeah, I'm sorry. I know you liked her, too, but we just bumped into each other last night and hit it off.
Stuart: No, that's fine. You're my friend and I'm happy for you.
Raj: Oh, thank you, Stuart.
Stuart: Plus, I don't know how you're gonna screw it up, but I know you will.
Raj: What's there to screw up? She just wants to keep things casual.
Stuart: Oh, great, that's how you're gonna screw it up.
Raj: Hey, I can be casual.
Stuart: Mm-hmm. I should get a haircut. This thing's going south fast.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Howard: Look, while Bernadette's on bed rest, we're gonna have to divide and conquer. I've got one monitor for her, one for the baby. Which do you want?
Stuart: I'll take the baby. She's less emasculating.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Stuart: I'm, uh, I'm running a special today, uh, buy something, keep having a comic book store to come to.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: Hey, Stuart, I see you're getting ready for your Halloween party.
Stuart: Yeah, it's my annual attempt to meet women. Ninth time's the charm.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that.
Ruchi: Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too.
Stuart: And the fungus is under the toenail.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Raj: I'm just saying, you should bow out.
Stuart: Why should I bow out?
Raj: Uh, because we all know how this is gonna end.
Stuart: That's what my doctor said, too, but I'm still here.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: Ruchi said she wanted to hang out with both of us. Why don't we just do that?
Raj: Oh, fine. Let's hang out as friends and see what happens.
Leonard: Yeah, and if something grows out of it, just worry about it then.
Stuart: Also what my doctor said.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Raj: Oh, you were born in Trivandrum? Have you ever been to the Kuthira Malika Palace?
Ruchi: No, I haven't.
Raj: Me, either. What a small world.
Stuart: I've also never been there. I've never been lots of places. Go on, quiz me.

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Raj: They're my friends, and I should be happy for them. And I'm trying, but all I feel is this gnawing, empty sensation in my gut.
Stuart: I had that once. Turned out it was a tapeworm.
Raj: Cool.

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Raj: It's just it's hard talking to my other friends about this, but I knew you would understand.
Stuart: Why is that?
Raj: Because you and I are both alone, which is actually kind of comforting, because at least we can be alone together.
Stuart: Mm. This is, this is awkward. I, um, I was actually gonna close up a little early tonight 'cause I have a date.
Raj: Really?
Stuart: Yeah.
Raj: (clears throat) Forgive me if I'm having trouble being happy for you.
Stuart: Don't be silly, I'm loving your pain.

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Oh, hey, Raj. What can I help you with?
Raj: I need to buy an engagement gift.
Stuart: Oh, well, you came to the wrong place.

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Stuart: Uh you know, they might like this. Superman and Wonder Woman, it's kind of romantic.
Raj: Hmm. You know what? Why am I buying them a gift? They have love. Screw them and their happiness. What do you have for someone who's bitter and alone?
Stuart: Literally everything.

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Leonard: Okay, fine. Just the sword, two ten.
Stuart: Thank you. I can eat meat this week.

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Stuart: Oh, I see you guys have found my little treasure.
Leonard: Yeah. It's okay, I guess.
Sheldon: Okay? It's magnificent.
Leonard: Buh-buh-buh-buh! What do you want for it?
Stuart: Oh, it's hard to put a price on something thats a copy of something that was on pay cable. But for my friends, let's say 250?
Leonard: Oh, that's pretty steep.
Stuart: Well, it's a limited edition. They only made 8,000 of these bad boys.

Showing quotes 1 to 15 of 165Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes