Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 10 of 12

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Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Stuart: When I was a baby, my mother called me her little possum.
Raj: Are possums cute?
Stuart: Not at all.

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Stuart: How about those guys on that bench over there? They look pathetic. Maybe we could talk to them.
Raj: That's a mirror.

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Stuart: Hello. Oh good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's seven. It's fine!

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Amy: (Talking "It's A Wonderful Life"). It's great. It's Christmas time, and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself.
Stuart: Don't need to see it, living it!

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Raj: Okay, let's try it again. But this time, pretend the girl you want to meet doesn't want to hurt you.
Stuart: I don't think I can give you that.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Raj: What did you put as the one word description of yourself?
Stuart: I put unobjectionable. But now I hear it out loud, it just seems like I'm being cocky.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Stuart: That's right, ladies. For all you know, I'm confident and fun to be around.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Stuart: Aw man, if I'd started this years ago I'd be divorced two or three times by now.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Raj: In the last hour 162 people have read our profiles. How many of them have sent us messages?
Stuart: Combined?
Raj: Yes.
Stuart: Zero.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Stuart: I don't think I've ever felt so rejected. And I had a rescue dog that ran back to the pound!

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Stuart: So, when you guys plan fun activities, does my name even come up or ...?
Raj: I invited you to my murder mystery party.
Stuart: No, you didn't.
Raj: Oh.

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Raj: The theme will be that the greatest love a man can have is the love he has with himself.
Stuart: That's good. Or maybe something a little less hand in the pants.

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Raj: It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day can come here tonight and be together.
Stuart: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. In fact, there's no place I would rather be than here.
Raj: Except on a date with anybody.
Stuart: Literally anybody.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Bernadette: What kind of comics do the guys like?
Stuart: Um, a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.
Amy: All right, well, who's the best superhero?
Stuart: Shh! You can't ask a question like that in here. Are you trying to start a rumble?

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.
Stuart: Oh, hey. (To the other customers) Could you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.
Penny: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: What brings you guys here?
Bernadette: We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.
Stuart: Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.
Penny: No, we were just wondering why the guys like this stuff so much, so we thought wed give it a try.
Stuart: Oh, okay. What do you think you might be into? Superhero, fantasy, graphic novels, manga? (To the customers) I swear I will turn a hose on you.

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