Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 10 of 14

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: Hmm. (looking around at the room)
Howard: What?
Stuart: I just have never been in this room while you're awake.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Stuart: Fine, take Wil. See if he brings you clam chowder.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Leonard: Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?
Stuart: My doctor's worried about my circulation so I was thinking about walking around the mall.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Bernadette: And how many guys have you gone out with?
Stuart: Please be less than two.
Amy: Three.
Stuart: Damn it.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Stuart: What's up?
Bernadette: Can you show us that dating app?
Sutart: Oh, yeah, sure. This thing has changed my life.
Penny: Wow. So how many girls have you met?
Stuart: Two. I probably don't need to mention there's an entire number between that and zero.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Penny: Well, so how does it work?
Stuart: Ah, well, it shows me all the single women in a five-mile radius who are using the app. If I like the way they look, I hit thumbs up. If I don't, thumbs down.
Bernadette: Oh, what would make you give a girl a thumbs down?
Stuart: First time it happens I will let you know.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Stuart: I mean, what can I do? I get so nervous around women.
Penny: Well, you're talking to us now. I mean, you don't seem nervous.
Stuart: Well, that's 'cause I'm doing that trick where you imagine the audience is naked. By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
Amy: Do you not hear how creepy that sounds?
Stuart: It was a joke.
Bernadette: Was it?
Stuart: No, I'm still doing it.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Penny: Okay, don't be offended, but what went wrong with you?
Stuart: I guess I assumed at this point in my life, I would be married or in a relationship, or even have a pet that didn't run away or kill itself.
Bernadette: That really happened?
Stuart: I mean, I can't say for sure, but I swear that rabbit looked me right in the eye before it hopped in front of that car.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Amy: Stuart, believe it or not, I understand. You know, before I met Sheldon, I was alone for a really long time. I was so desperate for people to like me, when I met these guys, it took everything in my power to hide my insecurity.
Stuart: Okay, we're all feeling it. Yes, I'll go out with you.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Amy: Have you thought about advertising directly to females?
Stuart: Hmm, okay. Well, all right. What if I put up a sign in the window that said, "Women, come in. Don't be afraid."?

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Penny: Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?
Stuart: Eh, the Internet's so negative. I try to avoid it.
Penny: All right. Well, Heather H. says, "The owner stared at me the whole time and didn't blink once."
Kelly M. says, "The creepy guy who runs it asked me out, then called himself stupid before I could say no."
Jessica K. says, "I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt. He took it off and gave it to me."
Stuart: See? Negative.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Bernadette: So how can we help?
Stuart: Well, I know more women are buying comics than ever, but for some reason, I can't get 'em in here.
Penny: All right. Well, what have you tried so far?
Stuart: Uh, I've been stocking more female-oriented titles. In the bathroom, I folded the end of the toilet paper into a triangle. And, uh, you are now sitting in the official breastfeeding area.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Raj and Howard: Indy' whip snapped. Thor's hammer missed. It was Avenger vs archeologist. Indy held his ground. And straightened his fedora. Thor said, "That's a nice look In 1944-a".
Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones.
Stuart: Play something we can dance to.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Raj: Dude, if we do this, we're gonna need a cool band name.
Howard: You know, I've actually had one I've been sitting on for years.
Raj: Really?
Howard: It was for this power trio I tried to put together in junior high, but I was short two friends.
Raj: What is it?
Howard: Footprints on the Moon.
Raj: I just got chills.
Howard: So did I.
Stuart: Me, too. But I might have Lyme Disease.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Stuart: Do you guys know any musicians?
Howard: Why?
Stuart: I was thinking it might be cool to have live music here a few nights a week. You know, give this place more of a "staying in business" vibe.

Showing quotes 136 to 150 of 202Sort by  popularity | date added | episode