Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 11 of 17

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Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Bernadette: Why are you dressed like that?
Stuart: Oh, uh, Howard thought it'd be funny to tell me it was a costume party.
Bernadette: That wasn't nice.
Stuart: No, but he almost died, so we're cool.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj (shouting from upstairs window): Hey, Jon Snow. How come your horse has a basket on it?
Stuart: How come your head has your face on it?
Sheldon: They don't wear bicycle helmets in Game of Thrones. You're thematically inaccurate, but I applaud your commitment to safety.
Stuart: Don't you guys have anything better to do?
Leonard: Better than watching a guy in a fur cloak ride a girl's bike? Nope.
Stuart: That's it, you just lost bathroom privileges at the comic book store.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Leonard: Maybe we could get Batman to actually show up.
Raj: You mean, some guy in a lame suit?
Leonard: Or a real Batman. Hey, Stuart? Didn't you try to get Adam West to do a signing here once?
Stuart: Yeah, but there was kind of a scheduling conflict. He, uh, wanted to know when he'd get paid. And I wouldn't tell him.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Leonard: Can I get his contact info?
Stuart: Sure, uh, but just so you know, he's kind of a diva.
Leonard: He is?
Stuart: Oh, yeah. Won't take the bus. He won't pack his own lunch. Won't let you spend the night on his couch.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey. Where's Sheldon? Still sick?
Leonard: No, he's fine. We just needed a little break.
Stuart: Yeah, I get that. When I brought him his comics the other day, he said, "Oh, great, Death is literally at my door." He was being a jerk to everyone. Don't take it personally.
Stuart: Oh, I'm on so many antidepressants, I couldn't if I wanted to.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Penny: You couldn't give us just one weekend?
Stuart: I told him this was a bad idea.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Leonard: Come on, you pain in the ass!
Sheldon: That's me! Bye, Stuart.
Stuart: Wait! I'm a pain in the ass, too!

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: (from outside the room) You guys got a minute, or are you still cuddling?
Howard: What is it, Stuart?
Stuart: Can I come in?
Howard: Hang on. (quietly) Should I send him away?
Bernadette: No, it's okay.
Stuart: (from outside the room) Thanks, Bernie.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: Hmm. (looking around at the room)
Howard: What?
Stuart: I just have never been in this room while you're awake.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: Boy, who would've thought when you asked me to move in and help take care of your mom, I'd still be here two years later?
Howard: No one.
Bernadette: Nobody thought that.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: (watching Howard and Bernadette sleep) I really miss this.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Leonard: Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?
Stuart: My doctor's worried about my circulation so I was thinking about walking around the mall.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Stuart: Fine, take Wil. See if he brings you clam chowder.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Stuart: What's up?
Bernadette: Can you show us that dating app?
Sutart: Oh, yeah, sure. This thing has changed my life.
Penny: Wow. So how many girls have you met?
Stuart: Two. I probably don't need to mention there's an entire number between that and zero.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Penny: Well, so how does it work?
Stuart: Ah, well, it shows me all the single women in a five-mile radius who are using the app. If I like the way they look, I hit thumbs up. If I don't, thumbs down.
Bernadette: Oh, what would make you give a girl a thumbs down?
Stuart: First time it happens I will let you know.

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