Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 14 of 17
Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion
Howard: Hang on, I know a place where you could you stay and earn some money at the same time.
Stuart: Great!
Howard: I just have to warn you: it will involve humiliation, degradation and verbal abuse.
Stuart: So, what's the catch?
Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Penny: You really going to lie on the floor and pretend to be dead all night?
Stuart: What do you think I was going to do at home?
Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Stuart: Hey, can I go to the bathroom?
Raj: Fine, just try not to look too alive.
Stuart: That's my jam.
Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration
Bernadette: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: *startled* Hey.
Bernadette: Sorry, did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes, but at this point pretty much any customer does.
Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration
Bernadette: I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning and I was hoping I could replace it.
Stuart: What happened?
Bernadette: Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
Stuart: Don't let the Riddler know that. It's a comic book joke.
*Bernadette stares blankly*
Stuart: Or maybe it's not.
Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration
Stuart: I haven't seen this many people in my store since that Korean Church bus crashed through my window.
Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration
Stuart: You know something, Jesse. You may have a successful business and the kind of pink complexion that comes with good nutrition, but I have something more important.
Jesse: What's that?
Stuart: Friendship ... which I would trade in a heartbeat for all this.
Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification
Bernadette: Raj, when you said you were going to bring a date to watch Penny's thing tonight, I didn't think you meant Stuart.
Howard: Really? I never for a second thought it'd be anything else.
Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification
Stuart: When I was a baby, my mother called me her little possum.
Raj: Are possums cute?
Stuart: Not at all.
Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification
Stuart: How about those guys on that bench over there? They look pathetic. Maybe we could talk to them.
Raj: That's a mirror.
Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction
Stuart: Hello. Oh good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's seven. It's fine!
Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction
Amy: (Talking about "It's A Wonderful Life") It's great. It's Christmas time, and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself.
Stuart: Don't need to see it, living it!
Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization
Raj: Okay, let's try it again. But this time, pretend the girl you want to meet doesn't want to hurt you.
Stuart: I don't think I can give you that.
Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization
Raj: What did you put as the one word description of yourself?
Stuart: I put unobjectionable. But now I hear it out loud, it just seems like I'm being cocky.
Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization
Stuart: That's right, ladies. For all you know, I'm confident and fun to be around.
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