Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 2 of 14

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Gates Excitation

Stuart: How are you ladies doing? Raise your hands if you're bueno. Me llamo Stuart Bloom.

Quote from the episode The Gates Excitation

Bernadette: Bye, my babies, I love you.
Stuart: (high-pitched) We love you, too, Mommy.
Bernadette: Yeah, don't do that.

Quote from the episode The Gates Excitation

Amy: Where you off to?
Stuart: El parque.
Amy: El parque?
Stuart: I'm learning Spanish so I can talk to the other nannies.
Amy: How's that going?
Stuart: Bueno.
Amy: Good?
Stuart: Oh. No bueno.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Stuart: If I were you, I'd go for Fables number one. The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women.
Penny: Ooh, Thor! He's hot.
Stuart: Yeah, he kind of is.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Stuart: Yeah, last night at dinner, I did what you told me, I went really slow, I kept my distance, and two bottles of wine later, we were making out in my car.
Leonard: Wine? I didn't say to give her wine.
Stuart: It doesn't matter, that's where it all went to hell.
Leonard: During the kissing? What did you do, sneeze in her mouth? I did that to a girl once.
Stuart: No, everything was good and really hot, and I said “Oh, Penny,” and right where she was supposed to say, “Oh, Stuart,” she said ... your name.
Leonard: Leonard?
Stuart: That is your name, right?
Leonard: Yeah, no, yeah, wow, I'm sorry. That must've been the last thing you wanted to hear.
Stuart: Well, it beats "You know I'm a dude, right?" Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Stuart: Well, tonight's my date with Penny and since we haven't been able to connect by phone...
Leonard: Yeah, I'm sorry, it's been broken.
Stuart: Or e-mail.
Leonard: Yeah, that too. Everything's broken.
Stuart: Anyway, I was just wondering if you had any last-minute advice.
Leonard: All right, well, off the top of my head, I think the most important thing with Penny is to go really slow. I mean, glacial.
Stuart: Okay.
Leonard: You know, guys come onto her all the time, so, you need to, like, set yourself apart. You know, be a little shy, don't make too much eye contact. And, you know, treat her with, like, cool detachment and, you know, fear.
Stuart: Fear?
Leonard: Yeah, like, you're afraid that if you touch her, she'll break.
Stuart: Well, that plays right into my wheelhouse.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Leonard: Stuart, I'm sorry if it's weird Sheldon made me best man instead of you.
Stuart: It's okay. I was best man for two whole days. No one can take that away from me. Except for Sheldon, when he did.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Penny: Hey, so is Bernadette okay with me being maid of honor?
Howard: Actually, I haven't had the courage to tell her.
Amy: I guess I should do that.
Penny: Uh, yeah.
Amy: Although, as maid of honor, your job is to make my life easier.
Penny: Damn it. Hey, Stuart, you still want in on this wedding?
Stuart: Not that much.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Stuart: Well, if you really don't want to use your brother, I'd be your best man.
Sheldon: Really?
Stuart: Yeah, we're friends. Plus, it'd be nice. Never really been called the best before. Or a man, for that matter.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Okay, well, uh, thank you, Stuart. That's a very generous offer.
Stuart: My pleasure. I-I understand the best man usually receives a present.
Sheldon: That's true.
Stuart: Can never have too much Claritin.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Hello, Stuart.
Stuart: Oh, hey, Sheldon. Can I interest you in a cappuccino?
Sheldon: When did you start selling those?
Stuart: Oh, someone left it here, but it's still warm. Say four bucks?

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Halley's party, right?
Stuart: You bet. Plus, I live there and I was invited, so it's already better than my tenth birthday party.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Stuart: Don't stress about this party. She's one; she's not gonna remember. The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked.
Howard: It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette. She's feeling guilty about all the stuff she's missing with Halley.
Stuart: All right. Uncle Stuart's got your back. Ain't no party like a Stuart party because Stuart's never invited to parties.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Stuart: Come on, you guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting.
Raj: I have an extra ticket to the opening of The Last Jedi tonight. It was gonna be Howard's, but you can have it.
Stuart: You two had a good run.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: I mean, your life's a mess. I don't see you blaming other people for it.
Stuart: That's right. I grew up in a loving, supportive household. This is all on me.

Showing quotes 16 to 30 of 202Sort by  popularity | date added | episode