Stuart: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Hey.
Stuart: Where is everybody?
Howard: I could ask you the same question.
Stuart: Wow, this conversation got mean fast.

Stuart: Huh. What's that? Ooh, Batman flash drive. Pretty cool. Huh, if I erase this, I could probably resell it for, like, ten bucks. Things are finally going my way.

Raj: Hey, Stuart. You want to mine some Bitcoin with us? We'll write the program, you bring the snacks?
Stuart: Too rich for my blood.

Raj: Wait, what's Bitcoin?
Sheldon: It's a new online currency that's been developed. Uh, it's just like actual money, except you can't see it, hold it, or spend it on anything.
Stuart: Sounds like the kind of money I'm familiar with.

Leonard: I can't believe we forgot about it.
Howard: It's not that surprising. They were basically worthless when we got them.
Leonard: I wish I knew how much we had.
Raj: Sheldon, you must remember.
Sheldon: Of course I do.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, he and I totally remember. You tell them, Sheldon.

Leonard: No, we-we definitely mined some. I-I remember sitting in your bedroom and writing the program.
I think we ended up with a bunch of it.
Raj: Wow, and at, like, $5,000 apiece, that's-
Stuart: Sounds like a lot of money, which we agreed to share 'cause I-I was totally there. I remember now.

Stuart: So, you and Ruchi?
Raj: Yeah, I'm sorry. I know you liked her, too, but we just bumped into each other last night and hit it off.
Stuart: No, that's fine. You're my friend and I'm happy for you.
Raj: Oh, thank you, Stuart.
Stuart: Plus, I don't know how you're gonna screw it up, but I know you will.
Raj: What's there to screw up? She just wants to keep things casual.
Stuart: Oh, great, that's how you're gonna screw it up.
Raj: Hey, I can be casual.
Stuart: Mm-hmm. I should get a haircut. This thing's going south fast.

Howard: Look, while Bernadette's on bed rest, we're gonna have to divide and conquer. I've got one monitor for her, one for the baby. Which do you want?
Stuart: I'll take the baby. She's less emasculating.

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.

Stuart: I'm, uh, I'm running a special today, uh, buy something, keep having a comic book store to come to.

Raj: Hey, Stuart, I see you're getting ready for your Halloween party.
Stuart: Yeah, it's my annual attempt to meet women. Ninth time's the charm.

Stuart: If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that.
Ruchi: Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too.
Stuart: And the fungus is under the toenail.

Raj: I'm just saying, you should bow out.
Stuart: Why should I bow out?
Raj: Uh, because we all know how this is gonna end.
Stuart: That's what my doctor said, too, but I'm still here.

Stuart: Ruchi said she wanted to hang out with both of us. Why don't we just do that?
Raj: Oh, fine. Let's hang out as friends and see what happens.
Leonard: Yeah, and if something grows out of it, just worry about it then.
Stuart: Also what my doctor said.

Raj: Oh, you were born in Trivandrum? Have you ever been to the Kuthira Malika Palace?
Ruchi: No, I haven't.
Raj: Me, either. What a small world.
Stuart: I've also never been there. I've never been lots of places. Go on, quiz me.