Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 9 of 12

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Quote from the episode The Leftover Thermalization

Howard: Certainly a lot more women are reading comic books now.
Stuart: It's true. In the store, I had to put a seat on the toilet.

Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Stuart: I can't believe she's gone. That woman took me in. If it wasn't for her, I would have been homeless.
Amy: One of us would have taken you in.
Stuart: Yeah, I don't recall any offers. But you know what, I'm glad it worked out the way it did, because I got to know this wonderful person.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: So I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys's. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and almost plotzed on the kugel.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Stuart: I don't mean to be rude, Sheldon, but my life is kinda falling apart right now.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Sheldon: Can you break a twenty?
Stuart: No, I only have hundreds.
Sheldon: You know what. I don't always recognize sarcasm, but I do right now and I don't appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're not the only one whose day's been a disaster.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

*As Stuart moves a box, a piece of the ceiling falls down*
Stuart: That could have killed me. ... Can't catch a break.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Howard: Don't take this the wrong way, but did you do this for the insurance money?
Stuart: No! God, you sound like the police, the fireman, my parents, my therapist and the insurance company.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Howard: Hang on, I know a place where you could you stay and earn some money at the same time.
Stuart: Great!
Howard: I just have to warn you: it will involve humiliation, degradation and verbal abuse.
Stuart: So, what's the catch?

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Penny: You really going to lie on the floor and pretend to be dead all night?
Stuart: What do you think I was going to do at home?

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Stuart: Hey, can I go to the bathroom?
Raj: Fine, just try not to look too alive.
Stuart: That's my jam.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bernadette: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: *startled* Hey.
Bernadette: Sorry, did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes, but at this point pretty much any customer does.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bernadette: I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning and I was hoping I could replace it.
Stuart: What happened?
Bernadette: Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
Stuart: Don't let the Riddler know that. It's a comic book joke.
*Bernadette stares blankly*
Stuart: Or maybe it's not.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Stuart: I haven't seen this many people in my store since that Korean Church bus crashed through my window.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Stuart: You know something, Jesse. You may have a successful business and the kind of pink complexion that comes with good nutrition, but I have something more important.
Jesse: What's that?
Stuart: Friendship ... which I would trade in a heartbeat for all this.

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Bernadette: Raj, when you said you were going to bring a date to watch Penny's thing tonight, I didn't think you meant Stuart.
Howard: Really? I never for a second thought it'd be anything else.

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