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Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Zack: So good to see you guys. Man, we should do this more often.
Penny: Come over to get laptops back from you?
Zack: Totally.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: So do you have it?
Zack: Of course I do. Penny gave it to me as a gift. You don't get rid of something like that.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Zack: Are you guys fighting?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: No.
Zack: Are you fighting about whether or not you're fighting? 'Cause I've had that fight before. Turns out we were, and I lost.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Penny: Leonard thinks when we broke up, it didn't bother me.
Zack: That's crazy. When we were going out, she used to talk about you all the time. In fact, I think she only dated me because I reminded her of you.
Leonard: Sure. Because we're both people?
Zack: Damn right we are.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Zack: Oh, also, there was that video about how much she missed you.
Penny: What video?
Zack: The one on the laptop. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but I am a huge snoop. Ask my neighbor. She'll tell you. But not right now; she's in the shower.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: Uh, what's new?
Zack: Oh, tons of stuff. Put artificial grass in my backyard, got engaged, had a scary mole that turned out to be Sharpie.
Penny: Well, congratulations.
Zack: That's what my dermatologist said.
Penny: No, on getting engaged, good for you.
Zack: Oh, thanks.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Zack: Hey, we should all have dinner sometime.
Penny: Uh, yeah, sure, I'll check with Leonard.
Zack: Cool, I'll check with Sara. (To his phone) Sara, pull up my calendar. It never works for me.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: Hey, where's your fiance?
Zack: Oh, she couldn't make it. She had an emergency.
Penny: Oh, no, what happened?
Zack: I didn't ask.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: Yeah, lying isn't my favorite part of the job. Actually, I'm not crazy about a lot of it.
Zack: Hey, if you're not happy there, I've been looking for a new head of sales at my company. And we don't sell drugs, just menus, so the only lie you'll be telling is we print on recycled paper. We don't.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: Oh, that's a nice offer.
Zack: You know, we'd make a great team. Or as we say in the menu business, I can't do this without Me N U.
Penny: Right, 'cause it spells "menu."
Zack: Yeah, right? It's funny. I got a lot of menu jokes, but that's my favorite.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Zack: Penny, what's up?
Penny: Hey, uh, so I've been thinking about it and I want to take the job.
Zack: Oh, bad news. When my fiance found out that I was offering a job to my ex-girlfriend, she said it was a stupid idea and threw a shoe at me.
Penny: Oh, so there's no job?
Zack: Nope, just a little bump on my forehead.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Zack: Do you have a bodyguard to keep spies away?
Leonard: I have Sheldon, that keeps most people away.
Zack: I miss that guy. He's like the Swedish Chef Muppet. I don't know what he's saying, but he's funny.
Leonard: Oh, I know what he's saying, and he's not, he's not funny.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Raj: Hey, dude, you're killing me with Claire.
Zack: What are you talking about?
Raj: I mean, come on, look at you. You're classically handsome, you've got a swimmer's body. Next to you, I look like me.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Zack: Oh, man, I didn't mean to do that. But I do appreciate you recognizing my swimmer's body. Which, incidentally, I got from playing Marco Polo at the YMCA.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Raj: Yeah, okay, just do me a favor and stop talking about how great Claire is.
Zack: Anything for you, my little foreign friend.

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