Zack Johnson Quotes Page 3 of 4

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Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: Hey, I want to see this laser thing.
Penny: Oh, but what about the party?
Zack: It's a surprise party, doesn't matter when we get there.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Leonard: So, how'd you two guys meet?
Zack: My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: Your company?
Zack: Well, it's my dad's, but me and my sister are VPs.
Leonard: So, menus?
Zack: I know it sounds easy but there's a lot of science that goes in designing them.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Leonard: Don't worry about the moon. We, we set our laser to stun.
Zack: Smart.
Leonard: Now, we'll be able to see the beam when it leaves, but it won't be strong enough when it comes back to be seen by the naked eye.
Zack: (chuckling) Naked.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: It's my fault. I was a terrible husband. I was never around.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Penny: Look, Zack. Come on. You know neither of us thought this was real. I mean we were married by an Elvis impersonator.
Zack: Of course it was an impersonator. We could never afford a real Elvis.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: Not cool, bro. I'm starting to think you're not the kind of guy I want dating my wife.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Leonard: Yeah, well, she's not going to be your wife for long.
Zack: (To Penny) Oh no, are you dying!?

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: You know what they say. Happy wife - Happy life. Let's eat!

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: It's all right. I didn't have anything going on. Plus, Penny told me we're married, and Thanksgiving is a time to be with family.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Zack: I just think splitting up can be rough on kids.
Penny: We don't have any kids.
Zack: Are you sure? 'cause you didn't know we were married until this morning.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Zack: Well, mission accomplished!

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: Wow, this place is awesome. Where do they keep the Archies?
Sheldon: In the bedrooms of ten-year-old girls, where they belong.
Zack: Oh, no, you're thinking old-school Archie. It's much more sophisticated now. Like, there's two universes, and Archie's married to Betty in one and Veronica in the other. Midge is even breaking up with Moose.
Raj: No.
Zack: About time, right?
Stuart: Hey.
Zack: Hey.
Stuart: You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?
Leonard: Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack. He's a friend of ours. Zack, this is Stuart. He owns the store.
Zack: Wow, lucky you.
Stuart: Yeah, I work 70 hours a week and average a dollar sixty five an hour.
Zack: Sweet.
Stuart: Is that sarcasm?
Howard: Uh, no, it's an indictment of the American education system.
Raj: The Archies are over here.
Zack: Yippee.

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Stuart: So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?
Sheldon: Of course. We're coming as the Justice League of America.
Howard: Switching it up from last year when we came as the Justice League of America.
Sheldon: To that point, it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity to finally snare Best Group Costume if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.
Leonard: Hey, I got new boots this year. Guaranteed to add three inches.
Sheldon: That's sad. Let's ask ourselves, is there anyone we know who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
Stuart: Than than Leonard in high-heeled boots? Howard's mother in high-heeled boots?
Sheldon: I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there moving his lips as he enjoys the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.
Leonard: Zack?
Howard: He is the only person we know with actual muscles.
Leonard: You can't replace me with Zack.
Sheldon: Why not? Penny did it.
Howard: Yeah, she seems happier. Why wouldn't we be?
Zack: Score. I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica, and a Jughead. All set for my weekend number twos.
Sheldon: Congratulations. Zack, how would you like to be Superman?
Zack: I don't know, sounds like a lot of responsibility.

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: (At Penny's door) Babe, open up.
Penny: I'm not talking to you.
Zack: Then who are you talking to? Babe?

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