Penny: Look, Zack. Come on. You know neither of us thought this was real. I mean we were married by an Elvis impersonator.
Zack: Of course it was an impersonator. We could never afford a real Elvis.

Zack: Cool, it's gonna be in 3-D!

Penny: Leonard thinks when we broke up, it didn't bother me.
Zack: That's crazy. When we were going out, she used to talk about you all the time. In fact, I think she only dated me because I reminded her of you.
Leonard: Sure. Because we're both people?
Zack: Damn right we are.

Zack: You want to go with em?
Penny: No.
Zack: Okay, see you later.
Penny: Wait, w-w-wait-wait-wait, youre ditching me to go look at comic books?
Zack: Are you mad at me?
Penny: Im not happy.
Zack: Milk Dud?

Wolowitz: Okay, the good news is, we have a Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Oh.
Koothrappali: Yes.
Sheldon: What's the bad news?
Wolowitz: Superman probably isn't getting laid tonight.
Zack: Aw, damn.

Zack: It's all right. I didn't have anything going on. Plus, Penny told me we're married, and Thanksgiving is a time to be with family.

Stuart: So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?
Sheldon: Of course. We're coming as the Justice League of America.
Howard: Switching it up from last year when we came as the Justice League of America.
Sheldon: To that point, it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity to finally snare Best Group Costume if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.
Leonard: Hey, I got new boots this year. Guaranteed to add three inches.
Sheldon: That's sad. Let's ask ourselves, is there anyone we know who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
Stuart: Than than Leonard in high-heeled boots? Howard's mother in high-heeled boots?
Sheldon: I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there moving his lips as he enjoys the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.
Leonard: Zack?
Howard: He is the only person we know with actual muscles.
Leonard: You can't replace me with Zack.
Sheldon: Why not? Penny did it.
Howard: Yeah, she seems happier. Why wouldn't we be?
Zack: Score. I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica, and a Jughead. All set for my weekend number twos.
Sheldon: Congratulations. Zack, how would you like to be Superman?
Zack: I don't know, sounds like a lot of responsibility.

Zack: (At Penny's door) Babe, open up.
Penny: I'm not talking to you.
Zack: Then who are you talking to? Babe?

Raj: Hey, dude, you're killing me with Claire.
Zack: What are you talking about?
Raj: I mean, come on, look at you. You're classically handsome, you've got a swimmer's body. Next to you, I look like me.

Raj: Zack, this is my friend Claire.
Zack: You're hot. You seeing anybody?
Raj: Uh, she's seeing me.
Zack: Why'd you say she's your friend?
Raj: We're just keeping it casual.
Zack: Why is he being casual with you? You seem great.
Claire: I don't know. Ask him.
Zack: Why are you being casual with her? She seems great.

Raj: So, uh, what are you guys talking about?
Claire: Your friends were just telling me about all the other girls you're dating.
Raj: Why would you do that? I specifically asked you not to do that.
Penny: We didn't.
Amy: You just did.
Zack: Wow. Maybe none of you guys are smart.

Penny: Uh, what's new?
Zack: Oh, tons of stuff. Put artificial grass in my backyard, got engaged, had a scary mole that turned out to be Sharpie.
Penny: Well, congratulations.
Zack: That's what my dermatologist said.
Penny: No, on getting engaged, good for you.
Zack: Oh, thanks.

Zack: I see what you're saying. She's not so great.
Raj: Don't listen to him. He says crazy things all the time. Uh, watch. Marco.
Zack: Polo.

Zack: So what's your invention?
Howard: Well, we're using quantum vortices to replace gyroscopes in guidance systems.
Leonard: What's neat is that they can maintain angular momentum indefinitely.
Zack: Angular momentum. I was wondering about that.

Raj: Yeah, okay, just do me a favor and stop talking about how great Claire is.
Zack: Anything for you, my little foreign friend.