Zack: It's all right. I didn't have anything going on. Plus, Penny told me we're married, and Thanksgiving is a time to be with family.

Zack: Okay, I'm ready. I'm Zack, and I'm, uh ... oh, crap, why is this so hard?

Zack: So, long story short, I nailed her.
Sheldon: When he finished, he shouted Eureka!
Zack: No, I always shout, Holy Moly! Don't know why. Just do.

Sheldon: Jacuzzi is a commercial brand, hot tub is the generic term, i.e., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
Zack: Is that like all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs?
Sheldon: Surprisingly, yes.
Zack: Nice! Now what exactly are toes?

Zack: I'm Zack and I'm, uh ... could you come back to me?

Zack: Whoa, you dated Penny?
Leonard: She didn't tell you?
Zack: She told me she dated a guy named Leonard. Who would have thought it was you?
Leonard: Who else would it be?
Zack: I don't know. Somebody bigger and- Yeah, sure. Why not you?

Zack: Look up in the sky. Its a bird. Its a plane. I forget the rest.

Wolowitz: Okay, the good news is, we have a Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Oh.
Koothrappali: Yes.
Sheldon: What's the bad news?
Wolowitz: Superman probably isn't getting laid tonight.
Zack: Aw, damn.

Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig.
Penny: No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
Zack: Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
Penny: Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
Zack: Honey, there is no "I" in "Justice League."

Zack: You want to go with em?
Penny: No.
Zack: Okay, see you later.
Penny: Wait, w-w-wait-wait-wait, youre ditching me to go look at comic books?
Zack: Are you mad at me?
Penny: Im not happy.
Zack: Milk Dud?

Zack: Wow, this place is awesome. Where do they keep the Archies?
Sheldon: In the bedrooms of ten-year-old girls, where they belong.
Zack: Oh, no, you're thinking old-school Archie. It's much more sophisticated now. Like, there's two universes, and Archie's married to Betty in one and Veronica in the other. Midge is even breaking up with Moose.
Raj: No.
Zack: About time, right?
Stuart: Hey.
Zack: Hey.
Stuart: You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?
Leonard: Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack. He's a friend of ours. Zack, this is Stuart. He owns the store.
Zack: Wow, lucky you.
Stuart: Yeah, I work 70 hours a week and average a dollar sixty five an hour.
Zack: Sweet.
Stuart: Is that sarcasm?
Howard: Uh, no, it's an indictment of the American education system.
Raj: The Archies are over here.
Zack: Yippee.

Stuart: So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?
Sheldon: Of course. We're coming as the Justice League of America.
Howard: Switching it up from last year when we came as the Justice League of America.
Sheldon: To that point, it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity to finally snare Best Group Costume if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.
Leonard: Hey, I got new boots this year. Guaranteed to add three inches.
Sheldon: That's sad. Let's ask ourselves, is there anyone we know who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
Stuart: Than than Leonard in high-heeled boots? Howard's mother in high-heeled boots?
Sheldon: I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there moving his lips as he enjoys the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.
Leonard: Zack?
Howard: He is the only person we know with actual muscles.
Leonard: You can't replace me with Zack.
Sheldon: Why not? Penny did it.
Howard: Yeah, she seems happier. Why wouldn't we be?
Zack: Score. I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica, and a Jughead. All set for my weekend number twos.
Sheldon: Congratulations. Zack, how would you like to be Superman?
Zack: I don't know, sounds like a lot of responsibility.

Zack: (At Penny's door) Babe, open up.
Penny: I'm not talking to you.
Zack: Then who are you talking to? Babe?

Zack: Hey, Penny, how's it going?
Penny: Hey, Zack, what are you doing here?
Zack: My dad's company prints the menus for this place. I'm just dropping off some new ones, laminated. Makes 'em easier to clean if people throw up on 'em. Guess how I got the idea?
Penny: Yeah, I got it, I got it.

Zack: My gluteus what?