Sheldon: Excuse me. May I have your attention, please? I have recently been made aware that my personal relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler has become water cooler gossip. And I just want to say, shame on all of you. We're scientists. Our minds should be focused on the advancement of human knowledge, not the intimate details of other people's lives.
Bert: He's right. And I'm sorry for the part I played in this.
Sheldon: Thank you, Bert. You're a good man. That woman who stood you up and humiliated you last night really missed out.
Bert: That doesn't paint me in the best light.
Sheldon: Uh. Oh, I'm sorry. Correction: That woman not only had vigorous coitus with Bert, she also tipped him a dollar for a job well done. That better?
Bert: Not really.