Amy: I'll call you when we get to the hotel.
Sheldon: And if they have any of those tiny bottles of shampoo?
Amy: I will bring them home so you can show me how Godzilla takes a shower.

Sheldon: You're sad, so I made you tea.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: And it's just the way you like it.
Leonard: Earl Grey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Honey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Unsweetened almond-
Sheldon: Good Lord! I made you tea. Just drink it!

Leonard: I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Wow, and I remember when you loved playing games with me. Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in.

Raj: It's nice to think that you grew up in this room and now your daughter's going to as well.
Howard: Mm. I hope she has the same amount of sex in it I did. None.

Penny: When was the last time you got a massage?
Amy: Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago, but that was just 'cause there was a spider on his pillow and he was trying to get away.
Penny: Leonard stood on me once, too, but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.

Sheldon: Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.
Amy: Nice to see you, too.
Sheldon: (to Leonard) And that's how you make effort look effortless.

Amy: Sheldon, why don't we give them some privacy?
Sheldon: Very well. Hey, later, we'll check out the minibar. I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.

Sheldon: There's a cucumber in my water.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: Do they know it's there? Um, sh-should I tell somebody?
Amy: It's there on purpose. It's refreshing.
Sheldon: Interesting. The world's most boring liquid and the world's most boring vegetable. But you put 'em together, and bleh.

Leonard: Listen, we realized, that, uh we're facing some new challenges as a married couple.
Penny: Yeah. And there are a few things we need to stay on top of. So we thought it would useful, and I can't believe I am about to say this-
Leonard: Would you please help us make a Relationship Agreement? But one that's tailored to us. Okay? We don't need a bathroom schedule.
Penny: Although a rule about him texting me from in there might help with the romance.

Penny: "Article 8, subsection B: Leonard will restrict video-gaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home.
This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G-strings or anything else that calls attention to his pasty little thighs."
Leonard: Does it really need to say that?
Sheldon: I did this for free, let me get a little something.

Leonard: "Article 10, subsection C: If questioned, Penny may not say that everything is fine if it isn't.
Other unacceptable responses include: 'It's nothing', 'Don't worry about it', and 'I said it's nothing, don't worry about it'."

Sheldon: You sign here, date here. And, Penny, if you could initial here to indicate that you're accepting Leonard in "as is" condition.

Leonard: Damn. I burped so hard, I died in my game.

Sheldon: Oh, Penny, I'm trying to take an interest in other people. Uh, how was your girls' night?
Penny: Oh, it was fine.
Sheldon: Did you have anything to eat?
Penny: Uh, chips.
Sheldon: (stammers) Anything to drink?
Penny: Some wine.
Sheldon: Well, I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here.

Leonard: Hey, do you remember when we went wine tasting in Santa Barbara and you said that was the best rose you'd ever had?
Penny: Yeah, I remember us driving up there, going to the winery and that's it.
Leonard: And this wine is why.