Raj: You have lost so much weight. That must have been difficult for you because you were so, so fat. Do you remember?
Lalita: Yes I do.
Raj: Of course you do. Who could forget being that fat?
Lalita: Well I've been trying.

Penny: I need some guinea pigs.
Sheldon: Okay, there's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you can try. But if your research is going to have human applications, may I suggest white mice? Their brain chemistry is far closer to ours.
Penny: I swear to God, Sheldon, one day I'm going to get the hang of talking to you.
Leonard: His mom's been saying that for years.

Mrs. Koothrappali: You are wearing the boxers we sent you, Rajesh?
Raj: Yes!
Mrs. Koothrappali: Because you know what happens to the samosas when you wear the tighty-whities.
Raj: Can we please stop talking about my testicles?

Mrs. Koothrappali: What are we suppose to tell Lalita's parents?
Dr. Koothrappali: I play golf with her father, I won't be able to look at him.
Raj: Why don't you keep your eye on the ball, Papa?

Howard: Is it me or does web-chatting with your clothes on seem a little pointless?

Raj: I don't believe it!
Howard: Neither do I. Doogie Howser's been off the air for like 20 years.

Howard: So who wants to rent Fiddler?
Sheldon: No need. We have the special edition.
Leonard: Well, maybe we are like Haroun and Tanweer.

Sheldon: (On the phone) This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the planetarium. Yeah, well, I'm sorry too, but there's just no room for you in my wallet. No, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs. Oh, I'll miss you too. Bye-bye.

Raj: What just happened?
Leonard: Beats the hell outta me!
Howard: I'll tell you what happened, I just learned how to pick up Indian Chicks.

Sheldon: Okay, I know you're texting about me and I'd really like you to stop.

Leonard: (Talking about Raj to Penny) Don't you have a drink that could make him less obnoxious?
Penny: Drinks do not do that.

Dr. Koothrappali: Tilt up the camera, I'm looking at his crotch.
Raj: Sorry, Papa!
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, there's much better. Hi.

(Raj introducing his friends to his parents on video chat)
Leonard: Hi!
Raj: And over here is Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hi.
Raj: He lives with Leonard.
Mrs. Koothrappali: Oh, that's nice. Like Haroun and Tanweer.
Raj: No, no, not like Haroun and Tanweer.

Dr. Koothrappali: So, are you boys academics like our son?
Guys: Yes.
Dr. Koothrappali: And your parents are comfortable with your limited earning potential?
Guys: Not at all.
Raj: Papa, please don't start.
Dr. Koothrappali: God, its just a question, hes so sensitive.

Leonard: Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, in all fairness, it wasn't entirely Rajs fault.
Dr. Koothrappali: This is a family matter Sheldon.
Leonard: No, I'm Leonard.
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, sorry, you all look alike to us.