Sheldon: Impressive, but we must be cautious.
Howard: Why?
Sheldon: Today, it's a Chinese-food-retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and kills Sarah Connor.

Sheldon: I have a Masters degree and two Doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.

Howard: Can you please just help me?
Althea: All right, all right. Hang on, stay calm. (Over the PA system) I need an orderly with a wheelchair. I got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here.
Howard: You think you could be a little more discreet?
Althea: I'm sorry. We don't have a code for robot hand grasping a man's penis.

Sheldon: Is your womb available for rental?

Sheldon: I just don't want to be yet another flip-flop fatality.

Sheldon: So, this conversation is as pointless as your door knocking soliloquy?
Penny: Let me get my cockamamie keys.

Leonard: What do you mean it happened again?!

Amy Farrah Fowler (text message): I don't care for perchloroethylene, and I don't like glycol ether.

Penny: That's amazing.
Sheldon: I wouldn't say amazing. At best it's a modest leap forward from the basic technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.
Howard: Hey, Sheldon? Ahem.
Sheldon: Yes?
*Howard commands the robot arm to perform a hand gesture*
Sheldon: Peace?
Howard: No, not peace. Hang on.

Althea: My, my, my. What do we have here?
Howard: I slipped and fell.
Althea: Yeah, we get that a lot.

Leonard: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Wolowitz: Yes
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes!

Althea: Why is it hooked up to a computer?
Leonard: Uh, it's what controls the arm.
Howard: But it's frozen.
Althea: Did you try turning it off and back on again?
Howard: No, you see, it's more complicated than that. (Althea switches off computer) No, wait! (The robot hand lets go) Winnie the Pooh is out of the honey tree.