Leonard: Hey, for the record, Jimmy wasn't the reason I wet the bed. That one has my mother written all over it.

Penny: Okay. If you can't get me to stop eating your food, what makes you think you can get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?
Sheldon: I believe that you're capable of great change. Like when I finally got you to stop saying Valentime's Day.

Sheldon: Okay, Penny, if it were a game, here are your choices. An e-mail from an old acquaintance, or the head of one of the largest religious institutions in the world slam dunking to Sweet Georgia Brown. Pick.
Leonard: Just do it, 'cause he's not gonna let it go.
Penny: Basketball Pope.
Sheldon: And thats how it's done.

Leonard: It's two a.m. What are you doing up?
Sheldon: Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony streaming live from Stockholm.
Leonard: Sure. You want to see what all the scientists are wearing this year.

Sheldon: Look at these men. They've managed to win the top science prize in the world with no more understanding of the quantum underpinnings of the expansion of the early universe than God gave a goose. You should pay attention, Leonard. Someday this could be you up there.
Leonard: Thanks.

Leonard: Its this Jimmy Speckerman thing. I can't decide if I should agree to see him or not. Of course that might be because the last time I ran into him, he made me floss with my own shoelaces.
Sheldon: Wear loafers.

Sheldon: Look at Dr. Saul Perlmutter up there, clutching that Nobel Prize. What's the matter, Saul? You afraid someone's going to steal it? Like you stole Einstein's cosmological constant?

Sheldon: Oh, now Perlmutter's shaking the King's hand. Yeah, check for your watch, Gustaf. He might have lifted it.

Leonard: You know what? I am tired of living in fear of this guy. I'm gonna go see him and finally say all the things I should have said in high school. You know, "Pick on someone your own size. You did not have sex with my mother. And yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself."

Bernadette: I love this dress. How come I never see you wear it?
Penny: 'cause when I wear it, it's a shirt.

Amy: When Leonard gets back, Id love to check his serotonin levels. Do you think he'd let me draw a syringe full of his blood?
Penny: Hmm, he's not crazy about needles, but if you get him to go jogging, it'll just pour out of his nose.

Amy: That's nothing. In ninth grade, the girls put Rogaine in my hand lotion. Within six months, the nicknames began to fly. I think the one that hurt the most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
Penny: Wow. You poor thing.

Amy: Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?
Penny: What? I was not a bully.
Bernadette: Kind of sounds like you were. And maybe a felon.
Amy: Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield.

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.

Jimmy Speckerman: Okay. What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching, Annie.