Sheldon: The man Super Glued Hershey's Kisses to your nipples.
Raj: That's funny because those aren't the kind of kisses you want on your nipples.

Amy: Perhaps you could assuage your guilt through altruism. ... Which word's tripping you up? Assuage or altruism?
Penny: Both.
Bernadette: You'll feel better by doing something nice for someone.
Penny: I actually knew that.
Amy: I never doubted you.

Bernadette: Every other week I serve at a soup kitchen downtown.
Penny: Ooh, I can't do that. If I stand over a steaming pot, my hair just goes boing! What else could I do?
Amy: There's Habitat for Humanity, building houses for the poor.
Penny: Okay, come on, I don't even have my own house, I'm going to build one for someone else?

Amy: How about donating some of your clothes?
Penny: Oh, my God, that's perfect. 'cause I have so many clothes I don't wear, and they're just taking up space, and I go shopping to buy more stuff and I have no place to put it. This will totally fix that.
Bernadette: What about helping people?
Penny: And helping people.

Leonard: Here's your cocoa.
Sheldon: Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Seven little marshmallows, no more no less?
Leonard: You got one for good luck. (Knock on door) I'll get it.
Sheldon: One for good luck. Must be the kind of math they do at Princeton.

Howard: How about that? After all these years, your big bad high school bully finally apologizes.
Leonard: Yeah. It kind of rekindles your faith in the basic goodness of people.
Sheldon: You know what would be nice?
Raj: Whats that?
Sheldon: As a symbolic gesture to all the bullies who've tormented us for years, we open our home to Jimmy and once he's asleep, we kill him. ... I said it would be nice, I didn't say we should do it.

Penny: Ah, I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.
Bernadette: I think Mother Teresa would have washed the clothes first.
Penny: Yeah, well, I bet her laundry room wasn't down five flights of stairs. You know, giving really is better than receiving. I used to think it was such a cliché, but it seems to be the… oh, look at these cute jeans someone just threw away.
Bernadette: Donated.
Penny: Yes, to a poor waitress who loves a boot cut.

Sheldon: The Dark Knight has your back. He's scared, but he has your back.

Penny: Wait, wait, wait, guys, just hang on.
Amy: What is it, the fuzz?
Penny: Look at us. What are we doing?
Amy: I was gleefully following you to a life of crime, looking forward to the day we might be cell mates. I don’t know about Bernadette.

Penny: You know, this is wrong. Let's put everything back. Here.
Bernadette (taking boots and running): It's okay, I serve soup to poor people!