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Quotes from ‘The Shiny Trinket Maneuver’

The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

'The Shiny Trinket Maneuver' - Season 5, Episode 12

After Sheldon is dismissive of Amy's recent accomplishment, they must work through their first relationship problem as boyfriend and girlfriend. Meanwhile, Howard struggles with Bernadette's dislike of children.

Air Date: January 12, 2012.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met! Do you really think another transparently manipulative - Oh, it's a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.

Quote from Amy

Penny: You look beautiful.
Amy: Of course I do, I'm a princess and this is my tiara!

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Hard as this may be to believe, it's possible that I'm not boyfriend material.
Leonard: Glad I was sitting down for that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You were right, the tiara was too much.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz Has she tried on the vest yet?
Howard: I just gave it to her.
Mrs. Wolowitz I hope it fits. She's a tricky figure. She's short and stacked, like me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Remarkable. Diamonds. Crystalized carbon. Every day, people go to the grocery store and come home with sacks full of carbon, in the form of charcoal brickets, which they toss in their barbecues and set on fire. But just because you have some carbon with the atoms stacked neatly, you expect me to plunk down thousands of dollars.

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr. so he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses and throw barrels at Italian plumbers.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Amy doesn't want a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: My mother can be a pretty good shoulder to cry on. If the smell of Ben-Gay doesn't burn your eyes.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier that we were just looking at at Sears.
Penny: Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement. When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican peso up my nose.
Howard: How is that not amusing?
Sheldon: It's still there. Takes me forty-fives minutes to get through airport security.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da.
Leonard: Next time, you should lead with that.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Ooh, look who's out on a date. Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
Sheldon: And that is the answer to the question, what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
Sheldon: Not much. Although, I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears. I don't know what it is, but when they start munching on eucalyptus, I just melt inside.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Buy her something.
Sheldon: How does that work?
Leonard: Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
Sheldon: Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it.

Quote from Howard

Howard: But don't you think it will be different when the child is ours?
Bernadette: Right, when it's our kid that has ruined my body, and kept me up all night, and I've got no career and no future, and nothing to be happy about for the next twenty years. Sure, that'll be completely different.
Howard: Well, yeah.

Quote from Sheldon

Shop Assistant: Are we looking for anything special? Perhaps a ring for the lady?
Penny: (Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple.
Sheldon: Excuse me. I don't see why you get to snort derisively and point that out. You'd be lucky to land a fella like me.
Penny: Fine, go ahead.
Sheldon: (Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other.
Leonard: Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea, but I watched you dangle your hook in the water for years. Do not throw her back.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Completely empty box. If you'd like to examine it?
Leonard: Mm-hmm. Yep. I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
Howard: Little snarky there, cello lessons.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: And we have this completely ordinary cylinder. If you'd like to examine it?
Raj: Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader, only to emerge and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This is how you're going to entertain your little cousin and his friends? By lying to them?
Howard: How is this lying?
Sheldon: A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition. This is an ordinary top hat. You've chosen that card freely. I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister.
Raj: Can't you just enjoy the wonder, Sheldon? Why must you peek behind the curtain? Or up the butt?
Sheldon: If we poison the critical thinking faculties of children by telling them that rabbits come out of hats, then we create adults who believe in astrology and homeopathy and that Ryan Reynolds was a better choice for Green Lantern than lovable rogue Nathan Fillion.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da.
Leonard: Next time, you should open with that.

Quote from Penny

Penny: So, are we celebrating anything special tonight?
Amy: Oh, yes. Our relationship agreement specifies that the second Thursday of every month, or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays, is date night.
Penny: That is so hot.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Ooh! Speaking of good news, somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers.
Amy: That's nice. Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day for a long time.
Sheldon: Yeah, me, too. Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie, feels pretty good.
Amy: Sheldon, I'm the sole author on a paper being published in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ooh, 101! Air's getting a bit thin up here.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news, and you acted like it was no big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, I see why you're confused. No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is, it was an achievement in the field of biology. That's all about yucky, squishy things.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend. You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
Sheldon: What if they simply don't excite me?
Penny: Well, just smile and think about koalas.
Sheldon: She'd see right through that. We go to the zoo all the time. She knows my koala face. And for future reference, it's this.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
Howard: Yeah. I started when I was a teenager. I thought I could show a girl a few tricks and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
Bernadette: Did it work?
Howard: Ah, let's just say the only wand that ever saw any action was this one.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Oh, a little Red Dead Redemption, huh?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: How come you're not doing a mission? You're just wandering around.
Sheldon: Had a rough night. I thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head.
Leonard: Some people go outside and do that.
Sheldon: It's after nine o'clock, at this hour the streets of Pasadena are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Glad I could help.
Sheldon: It's appreciated. And if you ever manage to find a woman again, I'll be glad to return the favor.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: The thing is, my mother worked full-time. I had to take care of my brothers and sisters.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Bernadette: Ugh, it was horrible. With their snotty noses and their poopy diapers and their little shrieky voices, always complaining. I don't want to get dressed. Joey keeps spitting in my mouth. This isn't the way Mom makes waffles. Well, okay, put your hand in here. Let's see how you like this waffle!

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Ooh, does she like bracelets?
Sheldon: Well, she's very fond of her silver one that says allergic to penicillin. Maybe they have a dressier version of that?

Quote from Leonard

Howard: I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. I always thought I'd be a dad someday.
Raj: Oh, me, too. You're so caring. I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.
Leonard: There you go, Howard. Sounds like Raj'll have your babies, problem solved.

Quote from Howard

Raj: What's your mom going to say if you call off the wedding?
Howard: Huh, it'll kill her. On the other hand, if I don't give her grandchildren, that'll kill her, too. So, either way, on the Mom front, I'm golden.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What time did you tell Amy to be here?
Penny: Eight o'clock. (Sheldon checks his pocket watch) Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous.
Sheldon: Nonsense. I look like a train conductor.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Under what pretext did you lure her here?
Penny: I said, hey, want to come over and hang out?
Sheldon: Good, good, if you had said something clever, she might've gotten suspicious.

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