Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Leonard: So, for the remainder of my speech, this is for the invisible kids. Maybe you never fit in. Or maybe you were the smallest kid in the school. Or the heaviest. Or the weirdest. Maybe you're graduating and you still haven't even had your first kiss. By the way, nineteen, and Geraldine Coco, wherever you are, thank you. Maybe you don't have any friends, and guess what, that's okay. While all the popular kids are off doing whatever - I don't know what they're doing because I was never there.

Howard: All right, playtime's over. Let's open this baby up.
Sheldon: Won't that void the warranty?
Howard: Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for AppleCare. That pays for itself in the long run.

Leonard: I'll take my chances.
Sheldon: Fine. I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in Braille.

Sheldon: So, can you get it working?
Howard: I'm an MIT-trained engineer. I've built components for the space station.
Sheldon: I thought the zero-gravity toilet didn't work.
Howard: It worked fine. It just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts and their potato-based diet.

Bernadette: Ready to call tech support?
Howard: Give me the number. Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy who's reading from the same manual I have.
*Raj's phone rings. Sheldon, Howard, and Bernadette stare at him in shock*
Raj: It's my father, you jerks.

Amy: Leonard, have you ever given a high school commencement speech before?
Leonard: No. It's pretty exciting.
Sheldon: Aren't you afraid of being blinded?
Leonard: How would I be blinded?
Sheldon: At the end of the ceremony, all the students throw those pointed hats in the air. It's all "Pomp and Circumstance" until someone loses an eye.

Leonard: Well, I'm excited to show you around.
Penny: You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
Leonard: Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either.

Howard: Okay, the WiFi extender is on, the camera's on, they're both on the same network. We should be getting an image.
Sheldon: All I see is a black screen, and my own reflection. I look sad.

Raj: I have to return the helicopter. My father-- What did you do?!
Sheldon: Don't worry. He went to MIT. He can solve any problem. As long as it doesn't originate in a Russian man's colon.

Bernadette: Why don't you just call tech support?
Sheldon: Hey!
Howard: Whoa!
Raj: Not cool!
Bernadette: What?
Howard: There's two kinds of people in this world. Those who call tech support and those who make fun of the people who call tech support.

Howard: All right, the power supply is reconnected. I think we're back in business. Let's just run a few tests before we take it outside. Sheldon, we got WiFi?
Sheldon: Check.
Howard: GPS?
Raj: Check.
Howard: Battery charged?
Sheldon: Check.
Bernadette: Four hours of our lives gone? Check.

Howard: All right. All systems go. In five...
Boys: ...four, three, two, one.
*An electrical crackle is heard and smoke comes out of the drone*
Sheldon: That's what my train used to do.

Tech Support: Tech Support. Can I help you?
Sheldon: Yes, it's a robot uprising! Call the police!

Penny: Sweetie, you know you're supposed to wear clothes under a graduation gown?
Leonard: A. Surprised you know that. B. I wanted to look like a sexy graduate for you.