Latest Quotes Page 1 of 560
Penny: I remember telling Jenny Runyon that I would teach her how to flirt with boys if she put my name on her project. I got an "A", she got pregnant.
Amy: Girls like you are why I had to come straight home after school.
Penny: Wow, I didn't think anything could top last night's spelling bee, but here comes math.
Leonard: Too bad, you guys kill at bar mitzvahs. And other events that people can't leave.
Sheldon: I'm trying to come up with a new approach to dark matter, but people keep distracting me. First, my mother kept answering the phone when I called, even though she knew I was busy. And now you show up with my favorite shape of food-- a circle made of triangles served in a square box.
Sheldon: You know, I don't know how I feel about all this baby-proofing. If Halley can't teach herself to walk down the stairs, then maybe that's nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here.
Sheldon: My mother is pushing for my brother, Georgie, to be my best man, and I hate to disappoint her again. I already rejected her savior and her LinkedIn invitation.
Sheldon: So as to not upset any of you further, I've asked Stuart to be my best man, and he's agreed. You're all still invited to the bachelor party. Uh, he's thinking Costco and the theme is browsing.
Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.
Sheldon: I left the food out.
Amy: You afraid it's gonna go good?
Leonard: Well, we've been married two years. Should we think about what's next? Like buying a house or having a baby?
Penny: Look, I want to do all those things someday, but there's a bunch of stuff I want to do first.
Leonard: Okay, like what?
Penny: I don't know, stay thin and have money.
Raj: You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?
Howard: Is that Wonder Woman?
Raj: Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
Howard: Then I take it back; it's a great party.
Bernadette: You're gonna make me forget I've been stuck in bed while a baby uses my bladder as a kickball?
Penny: Hey, you had unprotected sex with Howard. You deserve to be miserable.
Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.
Howard: I forget, which mental hospital are you guys registered at?
Raj: Howard doesn't mean anything by it. I think it's cultural. His people come from a very sarcastic village called Brooklyn.
Howard: Hey, is that Raj there at girls' night? Well, hey.
Raj: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Just remember, if you fall asleep first, they're gonna freeze your bra.
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