Latest Quotes Page 2 of 676
Amy: Well, I got something that I think might cheer you up. It is the emergency pep talk you made when you were a kid.
Sheldon: Oh, that. I was saving it for the day they stop making Star Wars movies. I don't think that's ever gonna happen.
Amy: How long has it been since you've seen it?
Sheldon: Not since the day I recorded it. No, I had just watched Back to the Future II, where Marty McFly gets a glimpse of his future self and that got me thinking, the day may come where I needed my help, like they did with that movie. That was not great.
Amy: Okay, all hooked up. Here we go. Oh, look how cute you were!
Sheldon: Amy, please, of course I was cute. Look how I turned out.
Young Sheldon: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Sheldon.
Young Sheldon: If you're watching this, I assume something bad has happened. Something unfortunate and unforeseen. Something that's making you question everything.
Sheldon: I'm so smart.
Young Sheldon: Now just to make sure it's really you watching this and not an imposter, what am I thinking of? On the count of three. One, two, three.
Sheldon: Robot monkey butler.
Young Sheldon: Robot monkey butler. Okay, good.
Amy: Should I leave you two alone?
Sheldon: No, this is gonna be inspiring. You should watch.
Amy: Is there anything I can do?
Sheldon: Yes. You can build me a time machine so I can go back and tell my younger self to give up, because nothing's gonna work out the way he wants.
Amy: I was thinking a nice cup of leaf soup.
Howard: What's all this?
Bernadette: Your magic tricks from the garage. Your wands, your top hat with the stuffed mouse inside.
Howard: I never had a stuffed mouse.
Bernadette: Okay, do not wear this hat.
Howard: Why is it all in the living room?
Bernadette: Because I think The Great Howdini deserves to be a member of the Magic Castle.
Howard: That's sweet, but I'm not that guy anymore. I've outgrown it.
Bernadette: [holding up Howard's costume pants in front of him] Have you?
Bernadette: Look, I know you still want this, and I can help you. All those pageants I did as a kid, I could teach you how to present yourself, connect with the judges, sabotage the competition.
Howard: Whoa, whoa, no one's sabotaging anybody.
Bernadette: Of course not. Little girls in ball gowns trip, it happens.
Bernadette: Trust me, I'm gonna be the pageant mom to you that my mom was to me.
Howard: I thought you hated your mom for making you do that.
Bernadette: More talk like that and you're not getting any dinner. Amazing how it all comes back.
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes?
Leonard: Hello, Mother.
Penny: Hey, Beverly.
Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Leonard. Hello, Penny. To what do I owe this call?
Leonard: I need your professional advice.
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, I'd love to help you out, dear, but I'm very busy at the moment. Perhaps we can schedule a time next week.
Penny: It's about Sheldon.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, well, I-I suppose I can spare a minute or two.
Leonard: Wh-Why did you just say you're too busy, but-
Beverly Hofstadter: Leonard, please, not everything is about you.
Beverly Hofstadter: Penny, go on.
Penny: Well, ever since his paper got disproven, he's been a wreck. He's been sad and and angry. He just seems kind of broken.
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, it sounds like he may be grieving.
Penny: Really? Over a theory?
Beverly Hofstadter: Of course. You can grieve over any emotional loss. The more you care about something, the greater the trauma of losing it.
Leonard: Oh, boy. He cared about this a lot.
Penny: Yeah. What can we do to help him?
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, grieving is a process. Every culture has its own rituals and traditions to facilitate mourning. The ancient Egyptians had their mummification, the Tibetans had their sky funerals-
Leonard: And when I was little and my dog died, my mom sat me down and very gently told me that she wished the truck had hit my dad instead.
Beverly Hofstadter: I was trying to lighten the mood. Your dog had just died.
Bernadette: Howard and I have been working really hard on his audition, so it'll be helpful to get another set of eyes on it.
Raj: Well, as someone who has watched every episode of America's Got Talent, I'm getting pretty good at telling when some American's got talent. Seriously, Heidi and I agree, like, 90% of the time.
Bernadette: All right. Don't be afraid to be brutally honest. Like my mom used to say when I was doing pageants, "Tears only make your eyes sparkle brighter."
Raj: That is both sad and true. Half my Instagram is after a good cry.
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