Latest Quotes Page 2 of 637
Penny: Hey. Step away from the bride.
Howard: (chuckles) Okay. I'll go back upstairs.
Bernadette: Get in the shower and then take those clothes and burn them.
Penny: Yeah, and all the rest of your clothes! Ah, worth a shot.
Raj: So am I gonna be, like, the only single guy at Sheldon's wedding?
Leonard: No. There-There'll be a lot of single people there. Stuart, Amy's great-aunt. Although, Stuart's already friended her on Facebook, so, better move quick.
Raj: I got to find a date. I don't want to be that sad single friend that everyone looks at with pity.
Leonard: Uh, I'm-I'm afraid that ship may have sailed.
Sheldon: Leonard, you have a brother, right?
Sheldon: Is he the worst? Is he an unspeakable abomination? Does the very thought of him make your skin crawl?
Leonard: Well, he laughs at his own jokes, but otherwise he's okay.
Raj: Hey, why didn't you invite him in the first place?
Sheldon: You don't know what it was like growing up with him.
Raj: I get it; I grew up with lots of brothers. My brother Adoot was especially mean.
Leonard: Really? I've never heard you mention Adoot.
Raj: Yeah, sure I have. He's the one who left the door open when we were kids, and my pet mongoose ran away. Stupid Adoot.
Leonard: [on the plane with Sheldon to Texas] I kept saying no. H-H-How am I here?
Leonard: So, wait, y-your brother is Dr. Tire?
Sheldon: Yes, and, apparently, it only takes half a semester of community college to get that particular doctorate.
Leonard: We passed three of these stores on the way here. Why did you say he's just "some loser who sells tires"?
Sheldon: You're right, that was unfair. He's a loser who sells more tires than anyone in Texas.
Leonard: Oh, excuse me. Uh, we're looking for a Georgie Cooper.
Margaret: One second, I'll check to see if the doctor's in.
Sheldon: He is not a doctor. (scoffs) There's only one doctor here and it's me.
Leonard: I'm also a doctor.
Sheldon: Do you want to wait in the car?
Leonard: I wanted to wait in California.
Georgie: What the hell are you doing here?
Sheldon: Hello, Georgie.
Georgie: It's just George now.
Sheldon: Fine, George. No, I don't like it, Georgie.
Georgie: I see you haven't changed one bit.
Sheldon: Thank you, that is a nice thing to say.
Georgie: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Why aren't you returning my phone calls?
Georgie: You're supposed to be the smart one; you figure it out.
Leonard: He's not that kind of smart. You might want to give him a hint.
Bernadette: Aren't you worried it's a little intense to ask someone you just met to go to a wedding?
Raj: (sighs) I'm running out of time. Wh-Wh-Why can't there be a service where you can just pay someone to be your date for the evening?
Bernadette: Like an escort service?
Raj: No, no, no. Y-You wouldn't be paying for sex. I mean, obviously if things went well, it could lead to sex, but, but the money is for, like, you know, her time and companionship.
Bernadette: Oh, I get it an escort service.
Raj: Stop saying that.
Bernadette: Stop meaning it.
Georgie: We haven't talked in over ten years, and now that you need something, you think you can just show up at my store? Well, let's just drop everything to accommodate Sheldon.
Sheldon: Nice try, but I am not a gullible little boy anymore. I can recognize sarcasm.
Georgie: Okay. You're right. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry. Tell me what you need. Your wish is my command.
Sheldon: That's better, thank you.
Penny: [answering video call, seeing Bernadette's case of pinkeye] Oh, my God.
Bernadette: Yeah, I got it, too.
Penny: Wow. You really can't keep your hands off Howard, can you?
Bernadette: I know, I have a problem.
Amy: You infected me a week before my wedding. What am I supposed to do about this?
Bernadette: Wear a veil?
Penny: (laughs) ... It's not funny.
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