Latest Quotes Page 2 of 655
Bernadette: Well, I could ask my dad. Maybe he can get some of his old cop buddies to do a background check on her.
Penny: Would he do that?
Bernadette: Of course. He's a retired cop who plays by his own rules. [on the phone] Hi, Daddy. No, everything's good. I just have a favor to ask. Yeah, so, my friend Raj is marrying this woman that he barely knows, and I wanted to see if you could use your connections to dig up any dirt on her. Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Love you.
Penny: Is he in?
Bernadette: Absolutely not. He won't do it. It's totally illegal.
Penny: I thought you said he played by his own rules.
Bernadette: He does, but apparently, they're very similar to the actual rules.
Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence
Raj: Wait, wait, so you don't know what their fight was about?
Georgie: I wish I could help you, boys. But, you know, Sheldon used to keep an enemies list when he was a kid.
Leonard: Oh, he still does.
Georgie: Really? I figured that went the same way as his bathroom schedule.
Howard: If you mean digitized, annotated and put online, it did.
Georgie: Maybe that'll tell you something. Hey, while you're looking at it, if I'm still on there for peeing in his shampoo bottle - Eh, you know what, just leave it.
Howard: All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name or length of grudge.
Raj: Is Tam on it?
Howard: Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard: Oh, great. What did he do?
Howard: Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay.
"Which of these are plants?" And we're in.
Raj: Wait, wait, wait. If Tam knows what he did, we can just ask him. He's gonna be on campus tomorrow showing his son around.
Leonard: Won't that make Sheldon mad?
Raj: Everything makes Sheldon mad.
Howard: Yeah. Look at his list. Jim Henson for, quote, "putting a terrifying, giant yellow bird on television and in my nightmares."
Bernadette: Oh, this is so nice.
Bernadette: Maybe instead of introducing ourselves to Anu, we could just get a room, order some food and take a nap.
Penny: Yeah, I've fallen for that line before. It never leads to napping.
Anu: [on the phone] Okay, I got you two seats to Hamilton tonight. Your tickets will be at the concierge desk. Of course. My pleasure. [to Bernadette and Penny] May I help you?
Bernadette: Yes, I'm here to pick up our Hamilton tickets.
Penny: Hi. We're Raj's friends. I'm Penny. This is Bernadette. We just came by to introduce ourselves.
Anu: So you came to check me out?
Penny: She's smart. I like her.
Penny: We just want to see if we could take you to dinner and get to know you a bit.
Anu: That sounds nice. How about tonight after work? Maybe we can go to Bavel.
Penny: Oh, I wish. That place is impossible to get into.
Anu: Oh, please. Getting into impossible places is my superpower.
Bernadette: Me, too. I can fit my whole body in our dryer.
Bernadette: She can get into any restaurant, but the best husband she can find is Raj?
Leonard: Tam Nguyen?
Tam: Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard: No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam: Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard: Well, if you mean physically, yes.
Howard: If you mean every other way, no.
Tam: Sheldon! So good to see you!
Tam: It's been a long time.
Sheldon: Mm, not long enough to erase the sting of betrayal.
Tam: How did I betray you?
Sheldon: You know what you did.
Raj: Uh, let me catch you up. He does not.
Sheldon: When I moved to California, what did you do?
Tam: I stayed in Texas.
Sheldon: Do you believe this guy?!
Howard: So, he was your best friend growing up?
Howard: Were there no other kids in Texas?
Leonard: What is going on with you?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure you have a perfectly stupid reason.
Sheldon: I don't do anything for a stupid reason. Except, perhaps, Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'd argue that's more whimsical than stupid.
Tam: So, is he here?
Leonard: Uh, no. He didn't come. He's, uh, he's still pretty upset about ... you know.
Tam: I know what?
Leonard: Come on, you-you must know.
Tam: No, we haven't talked in, like, 20 years.
Howard: Right. Because ... you know.
Raj: I don't think he knows.
Tam: What are you guys talking about?
Leonard: Why did you and Sheldon stop being friends? What did you do?
Raj: And don't worry, even though we just met you, we think you're right and he's wrong.
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