Latest 'The Big Bang Theory' Quotes Page 3 of 724
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Bernadette: Howard, the kids are okay.
Howard: How do you know that?
Bernadette: I just know. A mother knows.
Howard: So what, now the Force is with you?
Bernadette: Let's see. This is not the woman you want to annoy.
Sheldon: Uh-oh. That's the fourth time she's been to the bathroom in the last two hours.
Sheldon: Her breakfast was binding. I made sure of that.
Sheldon: So she clearly has some sort of stomach distress. If it's viral, we're all susceptible.
Amy: She's probably just airsick.
Sheldon: Yeah, but what if she's not? What if we get what she has? What if we infect the King of Sweden? That's how wars start. [Penny leaves the bathroom and instantly heads back] All right, that's it, this is Outbreak and she's the monkey.
Amy: [faintly] Wait. Stop. Be reasonable.
Sheldon: Leonard we need to do something about your wife.
Leonard: What's the matter?
Sheldon: She is clearly sick, and she's gonna take us all down with her.
Leonard: She's not sick, Sheldon. She is, and I'm gonna catch it, and it's gonna ruin the greatest day of my life.
Leonard: I promise you're not going to get what she has.
Penny: What's going on?
Sheldon: [gasps] Unclean! Unclean!
Leonard: He thinks you're sick.
Penny: Oh. Should we tell him?
Leonard: Well, if we don't, he might try and jump out of the plane.
Penny: Yeah. Doesn't answer my question.
Leonard: Are you kidding me? You just found out that a woman who has loved and cared for you for 12 years is pregnant, and all you can say is you're relieved that she's not gonna get you sick?
Sheldon: There's no need for a recap. I was there.
Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Penny: I didn't tell anybody.
Amy: I'm not anybody. I'm your best friend.
Bernadette: What's going on?
Amy: She's pregnant.
Bernadette: That's fantastic! Why didn't you tell me?
Amy: She didn't tell me, either.
Bernadette: But I'm her best friend.
Amy: [chuckles] We'll get into that later.
Amy: What happened to "I'm never gonna have kids"?
Penny: It was an accident. I went out drinking with Sheldon.
Amy: [gasps] Oh, my gosh. We're sister wives?
Penny: No! Then I went home and slept with Leonard.
Amy: While fantasizing about-
Penny: Leonard. And a little Idris Elba.
Sheldon: What would you like me to say?
Leonard: How about congratulating us?
Sheldon: Are congratulations even in order? I didn't think Penny wanted children.
Leonard: Well, she didn't, now she does. And just so you know, we weren't gonna tell anybody so we wouldn't upstage your big day.
Sheldon: Oh, please, you couldn't upstage us. We won a Nobel Prize. Any idiot can have a baby.
Howard: Hey. What's going on?
Sheldon: Case in point.
Leonard: You are a selfish jerk. To hell with you and your Nobel Prize.
Raj: I found her boarding pass in her purse. It's totally her.
Bernadette: Hi, Stuart, just checking in. Seeing if everything's okay.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, we're having fun. Me, Halley and Denise played hide-and-seek all day.
Howard: Oh, that's nice.
Stuart: Yeah. I found Denise right away.
Bernadette: Where was Halley hiding?
Stuart: Uh, the important thing is she's not there now.
Bernadette: Okay, so, everyone's happy and healthy?
Stuart: Well, that depends.
Bernadette: What's that mean?
Stuart: Uh, how many teeth did Halley have when you left?
Howard: All of them.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, that's-that's what I was afraid of.
Bernadette: What happened?
Stuart: Um, well, all right. Um, Michael had a little fever last night.
Bernadette: Michael had a fever?
Stuart: Do you want to hear about Halley or not?
Howard: What happened, Stuart?
Stuart: He was running a little fever, nothing to worry about. And Halley, bless her heart, wanted to bring him his boo-boo bear, so she climbed over the safety rail and took a little tumble down the stairs.
Bernadette: She fell down the stairs?!
Stuart: [stammers] She rolled down the stairs, laughing the whole time. [chuckles] Anyway, when she got to the bottom, there was a tooth missing.
Bernadette: Oh, Stuart!
Stuart: She's fine! She thought it was funny.
Howard: Did you at least save it for the tooth fairy?
Stuart: No, we couldn't find it. We have a theory about where it is, but it'll take six to eight hours to confirm. Speaking of which, where do you keep the spaghetti strainer?
Penny: Pickled herring. Who knew how good it was!
Leonard: Really? Sounds gross.
Penny: Looks gross. Smells gross. It's delicious! [knock on door] Ooh, that might be my salted cod!
Amy: Sheldon has something he'd like to say.
Sheldon: I'm sorry I didn't react appropriately. You and Penny are bringing new life into the world. Congratulations. I can't wait to meet it.
Sheldon: That's a gender-neutral pronoun. If you're offended, take it up with the English language.
Howard: Oh, good, you're here. Listen, we're thinking maybe we should go back to L.A.
Howard: We just can't be this far away from the kids. Bernie's having a meltdown, and, frankly, so am I.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, pull it together. This is a big day for me.
Howard: [scoffs] Yeah, I wasn't sure what to do. Now I am. We're going home.
Leonard: We'll join you.
Penny: Oh, wait. Do I get a vote in this?
Leonard: They'll have pickled herring on the plane.
Sheldon: Well, I hate to say it, but I think everyone is being incredibly selfish.
Amy: Well, you would be the authority on the subject.
Sheldon: What does that mean?
Amy: Sheldon, no one is happier than I am to win the Nobel. But it's not more important than our friends.
Sheldon: How can you call them friends when they're abandoning us?
Amy: They're abandoning us because you broke their hearts.
Sheldon: I didn't mean to.
Amy: I know! You never mean to. That's the only reason people tolerate you!
Sheldon: Does that include you?
Amy: Sometimes, yeah.
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