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Quote from Penny in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: Hey, Leonard, remember yesterday when we were talking about having kids someday? Yeah? Well, what if it wasn't someday.
Leonard: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, are you pregnant?
Penny: No. No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Leonard: So?
Penny: No.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Sheldon: You're awfully quiet.
Leonard: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, I like it.
Leonard: Got a lot on my mind.
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: Grape Nuts for breakfast, quiet car ride, things are really breaking my way today.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Leonard: It's just Penny hit me with some pretty big news and it's a lot to process.
Sheldon: And you'd like to do that quietly. I respect that.
Leonard: She said she doesn't want to have kids.
Sheldon: Maybe she didn't mean it, like when you said you didn't want to talk about this.
Leonard: Forget it.
Sheldon: Do you want to have children?
Leonard: Well, I always assumed we would and now I find out, you know, I might be the last of the Hofstadter line.
Sheldon: Doesn't your brother have children? And your sister. She kept the Hofstadter name and has five healthy boys: Neil, Jeffrey, Scott, William and baby Richard.
Leonard: I'm going back to being quiet.
Sheldon: Sweet.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Howard: Hey. Mind if I sit?
Raj: Did you just come here to tell me I'm making a gigantic mistake by having this blueberry muffin and I should've got a cinnamon roll like you did?
Howard: No.
Raj: Good, 'cause I'm happy with my choice. Although that cinnamon roll does smell good if you're open to halfsies.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Howard: I've known you a long time. You believe in romance more than any person I've ever met and it's hard to see you give up on that. But if you really think marrying this woman is gonna make you happy, then you have my complete and total support.
I will be with you every step of the way.
Raj: Thanks, Howard. That means a lot.
Howard: So, hey, is this wedding gonna be in India?
Raj: Ah, maybe.
Howard: Urgh.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Amy: What the hell, Penny?!
Penny: I'm gonna need more than that.
Amy: You're not having kids? How could you do this to me?
Penny: How is it any of your business?
Amy: Because your kids were supposed to be friends with my kids. Who's gonna be friends with them now?
Penny: They will find other friends.
Amy: Oh, sure, 'cause Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA equals a kid who knows how to make friends. Grow up!

Quote from Amy in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: This is between me and Leonard.
Amy: Screw Leonard! We were supposed to get pregnant together. We were gonna be barf buddies. We were supposed to massage each other's perineums with vitamin E.
Penny: I'm about to be your barf buddy right now.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: Listen, when you have kids, I'm still gonna be there. I'm gonna be their fun Aunt Penny who gives them candy, and teaches them swear words and tells them stories about what a weirdo their mother is.
Amy: I guess I could live with that. What is gonna be hard is letting go of the dream of us breastfeeding each other's babies.
Penny: And it's gonna be hard to forget you said that.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Bernadette: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Yeah?
Bernadette: It looks like you could crack a walnut in those glutes.
Howard: I can't. I tried.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: Hey.
Leonard: Hey.
Penny: I made you dinner. Your favorite: In-N-Out Burger out of the wrapper on a plate.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Anu: I told my parents our first date went well and they got very excited.
Raj: Oh, tell me about it. My parents were so thrilled, they actually spoke to each other. So that was a disaster.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Anu: I guess if we're going forward with this wedding, we should talk about the next steps.
Raj: Oh, like themes and flowers?
Anu: Actually, finances and taxes.
Raj: Oh. We can't use that. That was the theme of my parents' divorce.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Anu: Raj. I know we don't know each other very well, but you seem like you'd make a good father and you're tall enough so I can wear heels and I think that's something worth fighting for. Will you marry me?
Raj: (stammering) Oh, my God, oh, my God. Yes, of course, of course I'll marry you!
Anu: If you'd like to kiss me you can.
Raj: Oh, great.
Anu: I should warn you I have a tongue piercing.
Raj: Oh, you're not that nice. (laughs)

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Leonard: Are you gonna tell me where we're going? Because if it has the words "farmers" or "market" in it, I don't want to go.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: You were talking about all the things you thought you would never have, so I thought I would get you one.
Leonard: Oh, my God. You bought me the Batmobile?!
Penny: No. No. No, no, no, no, no. I rented you the Batmobile for the day.
Leonard: This is amazing. Thank you.
Penny: Be careful. I did not get the insurance.

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