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Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: How are you doing on the young lady front? I hear you're in some sort of a long distance situation.
Leonard: Oh, yeah. It's Raj's sister. It's kinda tough. She's in India and also her parents aren't happy she's dating someone white.
Mary Cooper: Oh, that's a funny turn, isn't it? You never think about it going the other way.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: I thought it was our Indians that had the occasional alcohol problem.
Leonard: We don't say that either. I'll make you list.
Mary Cooper: Oh, that'd be mighty white of you.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: Sheldon, your friend is hurting. What do we do when someone's hurtin'?
Sheldon: Offer them a hot beverage.
Mary Cooper: And when they're drunk as a skunk, what beverage do we offer?
Sheldon: Coffee.
Mary Cooper: And what do we do it with?
*Sheldon smiles*

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Sheldon: I'm glad we're finally getting to do something together. Just the two of us.
Mary Cooper: Sure. One thing you really miss when you're on vacation is laundry.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: Hun, you think maybe the reason why you're having trouble finding a guy to settle down with, is because you're letting them ride the roller-coaster without buying a ticket?

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Howard: So this spring I get to go to the International Space Station.
Mary Cooper: Oh my word. A trip to the heavens. If you ever want to live there eternally, I've got a good book you can read.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Penny: Maybe a little Rodeo Drive.
Mary Cooper: Well, I can't spend $12,000 on a handbag. But it's free to look up on those that do with righteous condemnation.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: The trick to pancakes is bacon grease. I cook everything in it.
Leonard: Everything? Aren't you worried about your health?
Mary Cooper: Oh, doctors are always changing their minds. One week bacon grease is bad for you. The next week we're not getting enough of it.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: I am not abandoning you, Sheldon. Abandoning you is leaving you in a basket on a church doorstep. I am going to Hollywood and thank a wax Ronald Reagan for his service to our country.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: Oh, this one's sweet. You know, for your rosary rattlers.
Leonard: Mrs Cooper, we say Catholics, not rosary rattlers.
Mary Cooper: My goodness. It's a wonder you people in California can talk at all.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: Lord, Mary Cooper here, coming to you from Gomorrah, California.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: I want to thank you for the blessing that is my little Shelly. I also want to thank you for the continued strength not to coldcock him with my bible.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Penny: Mrs Cooper, it smells so good.
Mary Cooper: You take notes, darling. The real way to get a man is with melted cheese and cream of mushroom soup. He'll die at fifty, but his love will be true.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: Oh, I so should have taken you to Houston.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Amy: Now Sheldon, I know you're a left handed monkey wrench but you seriously have a mortal enemy
Sheldon: Yes, in fact I have 61. Would you like to see the list?

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