Latest Quotes Page 392 of 590
Leonard: You know what? I am tired of living in fear of this guy. I'm gonna go see him and finally say all the things I should have said in high school. You know, "Pick on someone your own size. You did not have sex with my mother. And yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself."
Bernadette: I love this dress. How come I never see you wear it?
Penny: 'cause when I wear it, it's a shirt.
Amy: When Leonard gets back, Id love to check his serotonin levels. Do you think he'd let me draw a syringe full of his blood?
Penny: Hmm, he's not crazy about needles, but if you get him to go jogging, it'll just pour out of his nose.
Amy: That's nothing. In ninth grade, the girls put Rogaine in my hand lotion. Within six months, the nicknames began to fly. I think the one that hurt the most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
Penny: Wow. You poor thing.
Amy: Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?
Penny: What? I was not a bully.
Bernadette: Kind of sounds like you were. And maybe a felon.
Amy: Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield.
Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.
Jimmy Speckerman: Wow. Look at you. Little Leonard Hofstadter. I hear you're a big-time scientist now.
Sheldon: And there's the first zinger. Ouch.
Jimmy Speckerman: From what I read, it sounded like a big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, good Lord, are we going to stand here and listen to him tear Leonard apart like this?
Raj: Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
Sheldon: My point.
Jimmy Speckerman: Okay. What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching, Annie.
Sheldon: The man Super Glued Hershey's Kisses to your nipples.
Raj: That's funny because those aren't the kind of kisses you want on your nipples.
Amy: Perhaps you could assuage your guilt through altruism. ... Which word's tripping you up? Assuage or altruism?
Bernadette: You'll feel better by doing something nice for someone.
Penny: I actually knew that.
Amy: I never doubted you.
Bernadette: Every other week I serve at a soup kitchen downtown.
Penny: Ooh, I can't do that. If I stand over a steaming pot, my hair just goes boing! What else could I do?
Amy: There's Habitat for Humanity, building houses for the poor.
Penny: Okay, come on, I don't even have my own house, I'm going to build one for someone else?
Penny: (On the phone) Anyway, I'm really sorry I made fun of your stutter in high school.
Bernadette: You're doing great.
Penny: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, God, just finish the sentence. Okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Bye. No one wants to hear my apologies.
Amy: I think your mistake is doing it over the phone. If they could look into your eyes, they'd melt.
Bernadette: Penny, it doesn't matter what you did in the past. You're a good person now.
Penny: That's easy for you to say. You weren't just called a b-b-b-b-bitch.
Amy: How about donating some of your clothes?
Penny: Oh, my God, that's perfect. 'cause I have so many clothes I don't wear, and they're just taking up space, and I go shopping to buy more stuff and I have no place to put it. This will totally fix that.
Bernadette: What about helping people?
Penny: And helping people.
Leonard: Here's your cocoa.
Sheldon: Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
Sheldon: Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
Sheldon: Seven little marshmallows, no more no less?
Leonard: You got one for good luck. (Knock on door) I'll get it.
Sheldon: One for good luck. Must be the kind of math they do at Princeton.
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