Latest Quotes Page 4 of 651
Sheldon: But I think, by the end of the honeymoon, we really started to feel like a married couple.
Amy: But the good kind, like on TV, not like my parents.
Howard: You're not a real married couple until you can pee with the door open and she's okay with it.
Bernadette: I told you, I'm not okay with it.
Howard: She loves it.
Amy: So, we got everybody gifts.
Leonard: Did you forget about us until you were at the airport?
Sheldon: No. We forgot about you until we were on the plane. Luckily, there was Wi-Fi, and I have Amazon Prime.
Bernadette: "I heart New York." Aw, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this.
Sheldon: Look, it doesn't have to just be New York. That's the beauty of it. Uh, the initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like. For instance, I understand that there is an elderly rock-and-roll musician named Neil Young. Perhaps you heart him. Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist Noha Yossry. Or Nana Yamaguchi, the Japanese voice actress who starred in Sally the Witch.
Raj: Did you just Google the initials "N.Y."?
Sheldon: I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight. Draw your own conclusions.
Penny: Well, guys, that was very, very thoughtful of you. Did you get me a double XL?
Amy: I told you.
Sheldon: You were right, dear.
Amy: Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card.
Sheldon: What's wrong with it?
Amy: "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. If my handwriting looks strained, that is because this is the 16th thank you card Amy has forced me to write. The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. Ow, ow, oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon."
Sheldon: Fine. "And Amy." Ow.
Amy: This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aw. "The perfect gift for the perfect couple."
Sheldon: Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces.
Amy: I wonder what it could be.
Sheldon: Oh, could be anything. A flute, a letter opener, one of those pens where you put the bikini back on the naked lady.
Amy: Oh. Isn't this nice?
Sheldon: What is it?
Amy: You know, it's, uh, it's one of those- Nope, doesn't do that.
Sheldon: Oh, maybe it's candy. Lick it.
Amy: I don't want to lick it. You lick it.
Sheldon: I'm not gonna lick it. I just brushed my teeth.
Amy: Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows?
Sheldon: Uh, none of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb.
Sheldon: Okay, Westworld. But this has nothing to do with that show, other than it's also inexplicable.
Amy: Well, Leonard and Penny are our best friends. They know us better than anyone. They said it's the perfect gift. We must be missing something. You don't think it's a marital aid, do you?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. Amy, how is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage?
Denise: Do you think when Krypto the Superdog is out flying, Superman has to fly after him with a little baggie?
Stuart: Hmm. Haven't really thought about it before. But he doesn't need a baggie, because he just blasts the poop with his heat vision.
Denise: You've thought about it before.
Stuart: Oh, I've thought about it a lot.
Howard: What is wrong with Stuart's face?
Raj: I think he's smiling.
Howard: Oh, my God, are they flirting?
Raj: Oh, they're way past flirting. I caught them making out at Sheldon's wedding.
Howard: Are you sure she wasn't trying to breathe life back into him?
Raj: I don't think so. When I used that much tongue at CPR training, I had to buy the dummy.
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