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Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Raj: What are you eating?
Sheldon: Elbow macaroni with ground hamburger and tomato sauce.
Raj: Oh, beefaroni. I think I'll miss you most of all.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: I'm sorry.
Raj: Me, too. I'm just, I'm a little on edge.
Sheldon: Understandable. Your entire life seems to be crumbling around you, and your future appears bleak at best.
Raj: Thank you.
Sheldon: And you're wrong about Hinduism and cows.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: Hey, Raj, guess what. Professor Laughlin is looking for someone to join the stellar evolution research team.
Raj: You-you're kidding. That's fantastic!
Howard: Come on, what are you waiting for? Call him and set up an interview.
Raj: I'm on it.
Sheldon: That's happy, right?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Nailed it.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Professor Laughlin: Dr. Koothrappali, come on in. I was surprised to hear you were interested In joining our little team. Giving up on those trans-Neptunian objects, are we?
Raj: No, no, it's a very promising area. In a perfect world I'd spend several more years on it. But I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to work with you on your tremendously exciting and not yet conclusively disproved hypothesis.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Professor Laughlin: Splendid. Uh, please sit down. Can I offer you a sherry?
Raj: It's a little early, isn't it?
Professor Laughlin: Not on Proxima Centauri.
Raj: That's very good. Jolly amusing, but if you don't mind, I'll hold off until sunset on titan.
Professor Laughlin: Oh, well done. I have a feeling you're going to fit in just fine, Dr. Koothrappali.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Professor Laughlin: Dr. Koothrappali, may I present Dr. Millstone from MIT. She'll be heading up our data analysis team.
Dr. Millstone: It's nice to meet you, Dr. Koothrappali. I read your paper on Kuiper belt object size distribution. I really enjoyed it. How did you correct for the selection bias?
Raj: (After drinking a large sherry) Well, I ran a simulation that allowed me to correct for the observational efficiency.
Dr. Millstone: That's just fascinating.
Raj: Thank you. Would you like to hear more about it in my hot tub? ... So, when do I start?

Quote from Howard in the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: I'm really going to miss you.
Raj: Will you come visit me in India?
Howard: Gee, that's, like, a 17-hour flight. How about I meet you halfway?
Raj: Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of Japan.
Howard: Tell you what, we'll Skype.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: Anyway, I was thinking about exploring the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations, and it occurred to me that I could benefit-
Leonard: Excuse me, Sheldon, how many reels before the subordinate male protagonist gets to his point?
Sheldon: I'm sorry. If you didn't cheer at my entrance, it's too late to buy into the premise. Anyway, I got some extra money from the head of the department, and Raj can come work for me.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Raj: I've reconsidered your offer to let me work with you.
Sheldon: For me.
Raj: Yes, for you. I do, however, have a few conditions. First, at all times, I am to be treated as a colleague and an equal. Second, my contributions shall be noted in all published material. And third, you are never allowed to lecture me on Hinduism or my Indian culture.
Sheldon: I'm impressed, Raj. Those are very cogent and reasonable conditions.
Raj: Thank you.
Sheldon: I reject them all.
Raj: Then you leave me no choice. I accept the job.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: I'm sorry, I believe you've misunderstood. I'm not giving you the job. I'm simply affording you the opportunity to apply for it. Have a seat, we'll get started with the interview.
Raj: Wha... you're kidding!
Sheldon: Please.
Raj: All right.
Sheldon: So, that's what you wear to an interview?
Raj: Come on, dude, we've been friends for years.
Sheldon: Oh, pulling strings, are we?
Raj: Sheldon, for God's sakes, don't make me beg.
Sheldon: Bazinga! You've fallen victim to another one of my classic practical jokes. I'm your boss now. You may want to laugh at that.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Pirate Solution

Penny: Ah, it's nice having the place to ourselves, isn't it?
Leonard: Uh-huh. Now that Raj is working for Sheldon, I don't have to chauffeur him around anymore. Plus, yeah, with them working late so much, we get some privacy.
Penny: Mm-hmm. Hey, want to get a little crazy?
Leonard: What are you thinking?
Penny: Let's slide over to Sheldon's spot a make out.
Leonard: You are a dirty girl.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: Okay, I guess I can hang for a little while. So what are we watching? Sex and the City. Yikes.
Penny: Hey, I happen to love this movie.
Howard: Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Pirate Solution

Leonard: What are you doing here?
Howard: Well, usually, on Sundays, I go with Raj to scam on hippie chicks at the farmers market, but he's still working with Sheldon, so I thought I'd come over here and make you guys scrambled eggs and salami. It's the perfect meal for apres l'amour.
Penny: Oh, kill me.
Howard: By the way, I couldn't help overhearing your big finish. Bravo, Leonard.
Penny: See, if you had killed me when I said kill me, I wouldn't have had to hear that.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Pirate Solution

Raj: No, no, no, no! That rate is much too low for what we'd expect from this collision. Do you understand that we're talking about dark matter colliding in outer space?
Sheldon: Of course I understand. And who are you to tell me about outer space?
Raj: I'm the astrophysicist. Astro means space.
Sheldon: Astro means star.
Raj: Okay, well, let me just tell you, if we were having this argument in my native language, I'd be kicking your butt.
Sheldon: English is your native language.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Raj: My god, you think that every thought that comes out of your head is pure gold. Well, let me tell you something. Some of those thoughts are pure caca.
Sheldon: Caca?
Raj: It means doo-doo.

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